FMIL might not make it to wedding

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
8789 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

noireames :  How scary! Well wishes heading your way and your FMIL’s. About the wedding: any time you feel the need to lie, it’s either because you know you’re doing something wrong, or you’re doing something right but you’re afraid others will think it’s wrong. If it’s the first case, then don’t do that thing. If it’s the second, you should do the thing and not worry about what others think. Why would you need to be dishonest with your loved ones? Why not just get married in NY, not hide the fact, and have your second celebration later? 

Post # 4
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I am in a similar situation except with my dad. He recently got too sick to fly to my wedding (he would have to travel from CA to GA). But we are still having the wedding as planned. But we are having a small second celebration in CA 2 weeks after our actual wedding. I am gonna wear my wedding dress again lol and we are gonna have a “recommitment ceremony” of sorts. 

 

It is really hard when family members get ill and can’t attend. And weddings are pretty inflexible events once the deposits have been put down. I have no regrets though because I know that it is best for my Fiance and I to get married in GA and we will just try to make the most of it.  

Post # 5
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I had friends who did this, theirs was due to a pushed up deployment. They got married with just their parents and still keep their original wedding date as their ceremony and reception. No one was the wiser, and they never lied, but also never announced. No one got angry at them, there was an any who grumbled a little, but they put her in her place. Honestly, if you make it a point not to tell people unless they ask, no one will know, and if they do ask, they will understand.

Hoping for the best and a speedy recovery!

Post # 6
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I’m sorry you’re in this situation. It sounds like a good idea to me to do the legal wedding in NY so his mum can be part of it, especially as it sounds like your mum is okay with missing it.

Post # 7
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2017

People WONT not come or not be excited because you’re already married! I went to 2 weddings last year for the same couple (first wedding was strict, religious and no alcohol) and while the family of the bride didn’t know about the 2nd, more “fun” wedding, I think everyone at the second wedding knew they were already married and we all had lots of fun. I even got teary eyed at the 2nd. This will be everyone else’s first time hearing vows so they’re not going to be less happy or excited.

Post # 8
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2017

ALSO: condolences to your Fiance and Future Mother-In-Law, I hope everything turns out ok!

Post # 9
Member
1112 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m all for a wedding your Mother-In-Law can attend, but don’t lie to people and pretend to get married again.  Just “renew” your vows and have a reception!  Everybody will understand THAT; they won’t be as kind when/if they’ve been lied to.

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