- 8 years ago
- Wedding: December 2011
My fiance and i are paying for the majority of our wedding. My very generous parents have offered us a sum of money, which we intend to use towards the honeymoon and a post wedding party in Canada for all those who couldn’t attend our wedding in Australia.
His parents are divorced and both struggle a bit financially. Nothing serious, they get by, but neither have alot of expendable income to throw around. We had no intention of asking them for anything for the wedding, because when my Future Sister-In-Law got married two years ago it was a HOT mess trying to equalise the money coming from Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law, with both getting hurt feelings if they felt they hadn’t contributed enough or too much. It put a huge amount of stress on Future Sister-In-Law and on the wedding, and people came out of it all with hurt feelings. In the end, Future Mother-In-Law paid for all the flowers at FSIL’s wedding, and Future Father-In-Law contributed an equivalent amount of money for various things.
ANYWAY – cut to our wedding. Future Mother-In-Law feels like she needs to make an equal contribution to our wedding, and so has stated that she will pay for flowers/decorations. We don’t really intend to have any flowers, possibly bouquets but nothing more. Decorations will likely be simple, a thick white candle on each table. I think as an upper limit our “flowers & decorations” will cost about $100! I’ve tried to be clear about this with Future Mother-In-Law but she insists a wedding isn’t a wedding without flowers. She’s now saying she’ll pay for “bits & pieces” if we insist on not having flowers. But the issue we’re having is how do we ask??? SHe paid about $3000 for flowers (!!!) at FSIL’s wedding, and it seems like she wants to contribute about the same for us. That would take care of Save-The-Date Cards, invites, cake, rings, flowers and decorations, and probably a fair chunk of our venue & catering! Let me state again that we have no real need of the money and never asked her to pay, but she’s insisting. And now if we take her up on it, how do we ask?? we just paid for our Save-The-Date Cards, and if we want to take her up on her offer how to we proceed? “they cost $230, you can pay us back in cash”?? its so awkward. I’d rather not deal with it, but i know her feelings will be hurt if we don’t. And i’m not even thinking about Future Father-In-Law yet – who knows what will happen there.