(Closed) FMIL posing as FSIL in emails to BM and my mom

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

My first thought was – why is your Future Sister-In-Law allowing her on her fb page??? Why doesn’t she just change her password?? I would definitely say something to her, and probably his mother as well.

Post # 4
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Why wouldn’t she just write to people as herself? How could she think she could get away wtih it? Does she have a personality disorder? Strange.

Post # 5
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Wow that is very childish of your Future Mother-In-Law. If your Fiance has talked to his sister before I don’t understand why she hasn’t changed her password to her email and facebook. Unless she doesn’t care or your Future Mother-In-Law is a hacking wiz?

I would try to let the other BM’s know as discreetly as possible what is going on. Maybe you could just say that another family member occasionally uses her email instead of naming FMIL? I don’t think they’ve left you with many other options unless having your Fiance talk to his sister stops everything. I do think he needs to talk to her and his mother and let them know that this has crossed the line.

Post # 6
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Have you talked to Future Sister-In-Law about it?  I would be pretty pissed if someone were impersonating me, reading my private email, etc.

Post # 7
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)

Wow, this is really inappropriate! If your Future Mother-In-Law has something to say or ask, she really should just say it herself, not while posing as another person. I find that kind of creepy, actually. 

I might delegate your Fiance to talk to his mom about this. Perhaps she feels unhappy with how everyone is communicating with her right now and they can come up with a more productive way to communicate so that she doesn’t have to send emails via your Future Sister-In-Law. I think trying to get at the root of whatever the issue is would be helpful (because it is strange that she would do this at all!) and would help you come up with a solution so that these types of emails don’t become the norm. 

Post # 10
Member
46421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I can’t believe that this is not an issue for your FSIL! That’s just weird-letting your mom send emails in your name.

I would let the wedding party know that someone else has access to FSIL’ s email and ask them to forward me any messages supposedly from Future Sister-In-Law that they receive, so I can validate (OR NOT) the information.

Post # 11
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Ditto to what julies1949 said about forwarding emails to you. At least that would give you some sort of control over the situation. If your Fiance has talked to your Future Mother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law a few times already I doubt the behavior is going to change. If the Future Sister-In-Law is not phased by your FMIL’s actions I don’t think she will see a need to change her behavior.

Post # 12
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Does Future Sister-In-Law know that her mother has access to her accounts? This just seems odd that she would let her mother have access to her facebook account and private e-mails. If I were in that situation, I would stop using e-mail to contact Future Sister-In-Law and call her directly so you know that you are talking to her. I agree with PPs that you should have e-mails forwarded to you. 

Post # 13
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

If after your Fiance talks to her she keeps doing it, your BMs (and you) could email back and say something like “Is this Future Sister-In-Law or FMIL? I understand there’s been a mix up with the emails in the past”. That way, at least she’ll know that you’re on to her.

If I were your Future Sister-In-Law, I’d be very concerned that I’m being presented this way and that it may harm my future relationships with the other ladies.

The topic ‘FMIL posing as FSIL in emails to BM and my mom’ is closed to new replies.

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