Post # 1
OK so i’m a lucky girl. I LOVE my Future Mother-In-Law. My Fiance and I have been together since we were 16 and so she has been a part of my life for a very long time. I respect her opinions and want her input when it comes to planning our wedding. I have the opposite of everyone else’s problem, she isn’t involved enough. I wanted her to come venue hunting and dress shopping with us and she wouldn’t come. Fi says it’s because she doesn’t want to step on my mom’s toes or act like a crazy Future Mother-In-Law. My mom also really wants her involved because she doesn’t have any daughters and my mom is nice like that.
I don’t want her to look back and feel left out of the wedding. I feel sad but everyone is just telling me to leave the situation alone and let it lie.
What should I do?
Post # 3
What about just telling her you will pick her up at a certain time and this is what you are going to do, and you won’t take no for an answer?
Post # 4
@Miss Emily Marie:
For the wedding dress I would bring Just your mom. I agree with Noritake on telling her you are picking her up and you are going to look at _and bring YOUR mom too! 🙂
Post # 5
Can you tell her it is important to you to have both of your moms there? and that you really want her involved in all of this. If she wants to be there I assume something will make her go!!!
Post # 6
As the mother both a son and daughter, I would feel the same way as she does. Count your blessings. When my daughter and I plan her wedding, I want no problems from someone who might want her ideas to overshadow my daughter’s vision, and when it comes time for my son to plan his wedding, I fully plan on doing the exact same thing as your lovely future mother in law. Send her a card stating how much you’d love her to come with you, that you will probable still keep asking, and if she declines, you understand. Thank her over and over and once in a while, ask her to breakfast just to be together and catch her up. Bring flowers. And again, count your blessings.
Post # 7
maybe you should tell her why you want her there, that your mom wants here there too, and that you want input from the both of them? I’m sure if she knows your mom won’t get mad, she will be all for helping with the planning.
Post # 8
Honestly going with just your mom is the best option for wedding gown shopping. Taking more than one person can just get confusing listening to all their opinions. I get along great with my Future Mother-In-Law and have known her a long time but each time i go to the bridal salon I just go with my mom and most of the other brides I meet there only come with their mom too.
Post # 9
If you want her more invovled maybe have your mom do teh inviting? I know with my Future Mother-In-Law having my mom invite her along on outings has been more successful, that way she knows that she really is welcome to come and does not have to worry about upsetting her or stepping on her toes.
Post # 10
I think the PP are right. I’m in your shoes as well, I’ve been w/ Fiance since we were teenagers, and our families get along well. Fiance is an only child, so I wanted to make sure Future Mother-In-Law gets the chance to come along and do the things that mothers usually get to do with their daughters. She has been more than careful to not step on any toes or put anyone out, even talking with me about how she doesn’t want to be ‘that MIL.’ I think that a nice card or breakfast out is sweet, and keep the door open and invite her along to things in case she decides to partake in a few of the special wedding-planning events.
Post # 11
I did end up going dress shopping with my mom a couple weeks ago and we found and bought the dress. I have invited her to come see the dress since then, and she just kinda changed the subject.
Maybe I will call her and see if she wants to go out to lunch or something soon so we can talk about wedding stuff.