(Closed) FMIL problems

posted 11 years ago in Family
Post # 3
3928 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

What about just telling her you will pick her up at a certain time and this is what you are going to do, and you won’t take no for an answer?

Post # 4
5092 posts
Bee Keeper

@Miss Emily Marie:

For the wedding dress I would bring Just your mom.  I agree with Noritake on telling her you are picking her up and you are going to look at _and bring YOUR mom too! 🙂

Post # 5
22 posts
  • Wedding: February 2011

Can you tell her it is important to you to have both of your moms there? and that you really want her involved in all of this. If she wants to be there I assume something will make her go!!!

Post # 6
382 posts
Helper bee

As the mother both a son and daughter, I would feel the same way as she does.  Count your blessings.  When my daughter and I plan her wedding, I want no problems from someone who might want her ideas to overshadow my daughter’s vision, and when it comes time for my son to plan his wedding, I fully plan on doing the exact same thing as your lovely future mother in law.  Send her a card stating how much you’d love her to come with you, that you will probable still keep asking, and if she declines, you understand.  Thank her over and over and once in a while, ask her to breakfast just to be together and catch her up.  Bring flowers.  And again, count your blessings.

Post # 7
4590 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

maybe you should tell her why you want her there, that your mom wants here there too, and that you want input from the both of them? I’m sure if she knows your mom won’t get mad, she will be all for helping with the planning. 

Post # 8
5165 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Honestly going with just your mom is the best option for wedding gown shopping. Taking more than one person can just get confusing listening to all their opinions.  I get along great with my Future Mother-In-Law and have known her a long time but each time i go to the bridal salon I just go with my mom and most of the other brides I meet there only come with their mom too.

Post # 9
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

If you want her more invovled maybe have your mom do teh inviting? I know with my Future Mother-In-Law having my mom invite her along on outings has been more successful, that way she knows that she really is welcome to come and does not have to worry about upsetting her or stepping on her toes.

Post # 10
2896 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think the PP are right. I’m in your shoes as well, I’ve been w/ Fiance since we were teenagers, and our families get along well. Fiance is an only child, so I wanted to make sure Future Mother-In-Law gets the chance to come along and do the things that mothers usually get to do with their daughters. She has been more than careful to not step on any toes or put anyone out, even talking with me about how she doesn’t want to be ‘that MIL.’ I think that a nice card or breakfast out is sweet, and keep the door open and invite her along to things in case she decides to partake in a few of the special wedding-planning events. 

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