- 8 years ago
- Wedding: December 2010
It’s 2 weeks before my wedding, and problems with my soon to be mother in-law seemed to have surfaced again. Whenever, she gets upset with her son, she is so controlling that she often threatens things to try to get him to do what she wants. Anyways, she got upset that he didn’t answer her phone calls the other day(mind you she didn’t leave a message, he didn’t hear them, she had just talked to him the previous day, and we had just spent 4 days with her). She sent him emails that really upset him(she can write pretty meddlesome or crazy emails). He wouldn’t even tell me what they said. He was so upset, he closed his email account!
He did tell me that she was threatening not to attend our wedding, again..That she wanted to go to Jamaica instead. (something she does by herself) This is the third time she has threatened this. This time I was alarmed, because she was saying this so close to our wedding after volunteering herself to do various things for the wedding: make programs, get favors(made me send the ones I got back), create a candy buffet, decorate/make centerpieces, and make a photo video montage. This made me worry that things would fall through.
He also said she was telling him again that I will leave/divorce him. This is so not true. I hate how she tries to bring me into things to try to scare him into doing things she wants.
What also upset me was that she was emailing me the reception place without my knowledge, when she shouldn’t be involved: she isn’t paying for anything related to that. My parents really don’t want her talking to the place.
Anyways, my fiance told his father about his mother’s behavior, which he rarely does. My fiance told his dad I wasn’t sure I could rely on them for doing what they said, like make programs, if she supposedly wasn’t coming, etc. He said he would talk to his wife.
Well of course offended her that I was upset that she was emailing the reception place. I might have been overly sensitive, but she doesn’t need to be so mad/upset about it. Then she sent an email to me ranting about her son(she sometimes says the meanest things about him) and basically implied how she wasn’t going to help with things anymore because she was offended I disliked her emailing the reception place, even though it was an *apology* email from her. She stated she didn’t know how she would’ve offended to me. Of course, I apologized back to he in another email, and told her that I was in fact upset about her threatening not to come and suggesting I would divorce her son, etc. Well this just made her send another really cold email, and once again threaten not to come, saying she would be too busy *decorating* the reception place to attend the wedding ceremony, etc., but also implying she didn’t want to do some of things she had originally said she would.
I was in total tears last night and upset about her. For one thing, we originally already had a touchy relationship. She used to really intimidate me and really disliked me dating her son, etc. She tried to break us up numerous times, etc. A year ago it used to make me feel sick to come over to her house even. We have been able to slowly repair the relationship over time though. She is always really nice and welcoming to me now. She is still the most overbearing, manipulative person to the point that my OWN PARENTS really dislike her and want nothing to do with my in-laws! We hadn’t gotten a lot closer, but then she pulls one of her *crazy* moments again.
Anyways I just ignored the cold email(the last one sent). I guess she liked that (I didn’t respond to the last one because it makes it seem like I listened to her last words) because today she sends a sweet one to me saying that she has received the favors and most of the candy bar candy, and good luck with my reception meeting and to tell her what size tables because she still wants to try to get table/seat covers etc. Back to her flip personality thing again. Back to her *nice* self again.
I don’t know what to think, but it pretty much drives me crazy. I have a total love-hate relationship with her. (Last night I was vowing that I didn’t want much to do with her after we are married, of course I don’t mean that.)
Thanks for letting me vent