(Closed) FMIL putting me in a awkward position…

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Moja Milosc:

With the plant, don’t stress about it. Just give her the money back later and say, “Thank you so much, with everything going on, I just didn’t have time to make it to the florist for the plant!” Not accusingly or anything, but if this plant is just a job you made up for her, it’s not a big deal that it doesn’t happen.

With the invitations, that is so frustrating. But on the bright side, most people don’t really care about the invitations, they’re just going to throw them away. Especially people you don’t even know. So I would just send them a handwritten invitation ASAP. (You are so sweet; I probably would have told her, “I’m sorry, we already sent the invitations two weeks ago–that was why we needed the addresses then.”)

It sounds like your Future Mother-In-Law is not a particularly organized person; it’s unfortunate that her irresponsible behavior makes you feel as though you’re a bad hostess. But this is not something that you did or didn’t do, it’s on your Mother-In-Law. (Though the gracious thing to do is just take the blame for her.)

Post # 5
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Sadly I doubt this will be the only time Future Mother-In-Law puts you in an awkward position. Some people can’t get their act together. If that is generally her case I seriously doubt anyone in FI’s family will blame you. They will have encountered this with her before and know whos is to blame.

Post # 6
1807 posts
Buzzing bee

I would be honest about the plant. Just tell you appreciate her offering to pay for the plant but you just don’t have time before the wedding to get it. If she offers to get it then, great. If not, no plant.

Post # 7
780 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

You got some great advice Moja – I hope things settle down soon, so you can enjoy your upcoming wedding celebration! 🙂



Post # 8
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

If your Future Mother-In-Law is that disorganized then I am sure the missing guests will realize this and know that it wasn’t you being rude and not inviting them.

My Future Mother-In-Law addressed her guests’ STD envelopes and she misspelled SO MANY names/addresses etc.  I was horrified at first, but realized that it was all in her handwriting and her friends/family would realize that it was her error and not mine.

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