(Closed) FMIL RANT

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Well, I think she’s a little bit right.  There’s always people that just don’t show.  I thought we were pretty good, but we had NINE people that cancelled between when the final number (and committed price) was set, and the actual day.  Two came to the ceremony and told me they were just leaving to go do touristy stuff.  This was only a wedding with 80 people invited.  As much as I hated wasting the $80/pp… it happens.

As for not RSVPing, I agree that someone will have to call them and get commitment.

Post # 5
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Yeah… We had several no shows, too. Mostly people that RSVP-ed plus ones and came alone. I didn’t bother asking for an excuse, but I guess things just come up…

Though I know the pains of inviting LOTS of people you don’t feel that necessarily HAVE to be there. His family is huge (Dad has 11 siblings…), so I knew his guest list would be enormous. However, we left out some of our more distant friends to keep the guest list down (ones we haven’t kept in touch with), but as I’m writing thank you’s I ask “who are so-and-so” and he says “oh, they’re my mom’s teacher friends”. I know I probably sound like a brat, but I’d much rather have friends that I’m not necessarily BFFs with than his mom’s teacher friends. I guess, in some cases, weddings are about you and your families….

I don’t think you’re wrong for being annoyed; I just don’t understand why people don’t RSVP.

Post # 6
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

In our families, the roles are reversed. His family is HUGE, but the rules are

1) You dont RSVP, your NOT coming

2) you show if you RSVP and not bring extras.

Its a very big family but everyone remembers the slightest faux pas someone did 5 years ago..lol

My family, all weddings have been more “open house” laid back, you just drop a line to someone close by on weather or not you will probably make it. My dad is paying 1/2 and Future In-Laws just decided since they have 70% of the guest list, that they are paying 1/2 (catering, Rehearsal Dinner, and possibly bar) so I am PUSHING my side to be on top of things. Instead of asking my mom or grandma, I am calling cronic problem people, getting my own addresses and email lists, and not depend on family. I wish I could ask, I just KNOW ppl wouldnt think twice about it unless I kept on it. Maybe you should ask Fiance ring up ppl, explaining caterer rules?

Post # 7
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

The two of you obviously have a difference of opinion on how rsvp and invites should be handled so take this task on yourself. I would leave out the “don’t be a no show” part of things since it seems a little rude to me

Post # 8
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Erm…if someone goes to the emergency room the day of your wedding you really think they will be saying “Oops! Better call Miss Jenny!”

You will be in a position to call someone the day of your wedding and invite them last-minute?

You know people who would be happy to get an invitation to a wedding day-of?

Post # 11
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Have you already had your invitations printed? If not, you should make it clear on your RSVP cards the # of people you are inviting. For example:


__ Seats Have Been Reserved In Your Honor

__ Accepts with Pleasure; __ of __ will attend

__ Declines with Regret


Of course that will not stop the very bold individuals, but then you will know for sure who is a complete a-hole.

Post # 12
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

future father in law said the same thing.

i said, ‘sorry, 25 chairs, 25 meals, 25 guests. mom will turn them away at the door.’

turn them away. they werent invited

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