Post # 1
OMG. So FI and I ordered these super cute custom Save the Dates. We’re trying to gather the last few addresses and get them sent out by the end of the month. I asked his mom, since she’s been so eager to help, if she had any of the missing addresses. At least, that’s what I meant to do,apparently that’s not what she understood. Apparently she emailed her whole freaking side of the family (her 9 siblings, their spouses, and 30-odd cousins) to announce “MrSmtty & MrsSmitty are getting married! June 7 2013 in Cityname. Send me your addresses!”
First of all you totally ruined the surprise of our awesome (and expensive) STDs. You made this about YOU by sending the email. If anyone was going to email it should have been US!! AND you got the freaking DATE wrong! 2014! not 2013!! Holy moly that pissed me the freak off! She told us as soon as we booked the venue that we should email everyone to tell them to save the date. We told her that we would be mailing postcards to tell them that instead. And then she does this anyway!
I’m cutting her out of wedding stuff. She wants so bad to help and I was trying to include her to be polite, but if she’s going to step on my toes it’s so not going to work. I’m planning this baby, so step off! UGH!
Post # 3
She just sounds excited but clueless as to how things work.
Post # 4
Ughhh…that’s frustrating! Good luck keeping her at bay since she’s so excited. My FMIL is also excited to help, and she is a bit annoying, so I feel your pain!
Post # 5
@MrsSmitty: sounds like an honest mistake. The whole save the date phenom is relatively new, and not even all that necessary. Just get the addresses, send them out and don’t sweat it. I’m sure your STDs are awesome, but unless they are curing cancer, most people will either trash them or stick them on the fridge and forget about it. I don’t see it as her stepping on your toes, just being a little over zealous.
Post # 6
@MrsSmitty: I agree that this is strange (and annoying). I would maybe not give her all the details of your planning.
Just remember she didn’t really spoil the surprise:
A) I’m sure his family already knew you were getting married, and that many of them probably are already aware of the date anyway. FI haven’t sent our Save the Dates yet, and most of our family members know the date already because they’ve asked us.
B) She got the date wrong anyway!
Post # 7
She sent an email. Big deal. For that, you’re cutting her off? Power trip much?
Post # 8
@MrsSmitty: While I sense that this probably isn’t the first thing she did to upset you, I agree with PPs that this isn’t worth going bridezilla over.
Post # 9
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Meh. I wouldn’t let it bother too much. At least she’s excited for the wedding. In the future only keep her in the loop with need to know information and make sure that FI is prepared to back you up if she tries to take over anything else.
Post # 10
Can we say overreacting? I’m sure it was disappointing but likely unintentional.She likely didn’t do STD’s in her day, so doesn’t really get the concept.
Cutting her out of wedding planning is not going to help your long term relationship.
Post # 11
@MrsSmitty: I wouldn’t take it too personally. My parents didn’t even know what save-the-dates are – and my dad still doesn’t get it. At least she’s excited. My MIL was very uninvolved and not very excited for our wedding. Don’t cut her out of the wedding planning just yet.
Post # 12
@MrsSmitty: She does just sound excited, but I know what you mean about it being frustrating. My MIL did the same thing. For one example, I told her I wanted a candy bar (because I LOVE candy!), and right after that conversation she went out and bought a ton of dishes and random candy. Now, I appreciated the effort, but maybe I wanted to put a bit of thought into it first. And then I was stuck with what she bought because I felt bad that she had spent a bunch of money already.
I don’t have any advice. You’re probably going to look like the bad guy whether you speak to her politely about her toe-stepping, or if you cut her off. We were pretty easy going about stuff and she still thinks I’m horrible because I didn’t do everything the way she thought it should be done.
Post # 13
Heck yeah power trip! It’s OUR wedding that WE’RE planning! I’m the boss of this operation. LOL. I’m not actually going to cut her out, that really was a rant.
I didn’t realize she was planning to email everyone. It’s fine that the email went out, but I really wish it would have come from us since it’s our wedding. And it irks me that she sent the email after suggesting we do it and us explaining why we weren’t going to.
Post # 14
Good luck planning then. I imagine this will be the first of many rants in regards to your power trips. Seriously, wedding planning is LOADS more fun when everyone calms the hell down and gets off of their respective power trips.