(Closed) FMIL rant – ignoring us but posting about us on Facebook…

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
769 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

BLOCK HER.

Post # 17
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

If she is out of your lives make sure she is out! Block her every way you can. She knows you’re seeing it and that it’s got you heated, don’t give her the satisfaction. You can reason with people like that. She sounds exactly like my exMIL. That woman is crazy!! When I told her I was pregnant with my daughter she said I’m too young to be a grandma, ever heard of a condom. I said ummmm yes I have ever heard of a muzzle! lol

Post # 18
Member
9375 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Post # 19
Member
964 posts
Busy bee

Ignore her completely and block her. Why continue to look at her facebook page? If you don’t want to have contact with her or have her in your life, why would you continue to check a page where she controls the information output? Obviously, she is going to paint herself in the best possible light so why give that any attention at all?

And don’t post passive-aggresive stuff on your facebook. Do not acknowledge what she says in any way, shape or form. Don’t insinuate, hint, or make any posts in response to hers. It will be so transparent that you are responding to her crap. Tis is why you should delete her. Because you are still letting her influence you and your life. Even wanting to post stuff about how happppppppy you are and how wonnnnnnnnderful life is and how you couldn’t be happpppppier will look like it is directed at her.

Stop reading her propaganda. Realize that you can’t reason with crazy and you certainly can’t refute it without looking like you’re rolling around in it right along with her. You win this battle by completely withdrawing from it and shutting it completely out of your awareness.

Post # 20
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

KitSnicket:  Why have you not unfriended her????  It seems like if you guys aren’t speaking to her, you would unfriend her also.  Since you haven’t unfriended her, I’m sure she’s posting things because she knows you will see it and is hoping she will get a reaction.

Post # 22
Member
4505 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Why are you fb friends if you’ve cut ties? 

Post # 23
Member
964 posts
Busy bee

You don’t need your FI’s permission to block her from your facebook. Surely he would support you in that? He can do what he wants with his own facebook after he emails her.

Post # 26
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

If you’re still letting your Fiance take the lead (which I can totally understand since it IS his mom), simply unfollow her. And for the love of God do NOT engage her., it’s tempting, I know, oh so tempting, but she’s SO much better at these games than you are! She already has everyone eating out of her hand. You’re already the bad guys in the movie here. So no matter what you say she’ll make it look a thousand times worse. She is WAY out of your league in manipulation and devious tactics. And that’s a GOOD thing. It means you’re still sane and your feet are still on the ground, on this plane, on this Earth. Don’t be cannon fodder for her narcissistic games. 

Post # 27
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

KitSnicket:  would it be okay to ask for an update? 

I’m going through the exact same thing and our wedding is this summer. Fiance is in the process of cutting out his mother from our lives and she’s gone on a smear campaign to get relatives not to come to the wedding.

Did you Fiance go no contact? Does she expect to still be invited to the wedding? Have you run into any more problems?

Post # 29
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

KitSnicket:  Thank you so much for the update, I wanted reassurance that people who have gone through these experiences still know it was the best choice to go no contact down the road. It sounds like she is constantly testing you both out and changing tactics to see if any of it works. I do think you are correct in thinking that she told you she cancelled her hotel to see what kind of reaction she’d get from you two. 

Best thing to do is ignore it! That’s what we are doing. My partner has stopped all communication with his parents while they spin bad or untrue stories to the rest of the family. We sometimes have other family members contact us and say “why are you doing this to FMIL?”  We ignore that too. We tried at one point to resolve things, but they refuse to see a therapist with us, they refuse to apologize going through our things at out house, for going on a smear campaign and for trying to feed me things I’m dealthly allergic to. Nothing is ever their fault in their minds, and the things we can prove that was deliberate is still spun around somehow to us being responsible. Future Mother-In-Law tries to feed me things I’m allergic to? Well I can’t be that allergic if I still eat at my parents house (they accomodate my allergies… ugh).

I related to the part where you said she texted you to get you on her side in convincing Fiance he made a bad decision. My in laws hate me but when they were getting desperate, they phoned me and told me how much they adore me and that they just want whats best for us (weeks earlier they were telling me how much they hated me and they wished Fiance never met me. They even threatened to contaminate our house with food I’m allergic to!). I was polite but did not agree with their made up stories. I’ve since blocked them. 

My parents are helping us pay pay for the wedding, FI’s parents never once mentioned our wedding or asked if we needed help. They wish the wedding didn’t exist. I’m glad you changed your location, as I’m sure if you kept it the same, your Future Mother-In-Law is bound to show up anyway. People who are chaotic like that are unpredictable. 

Have the most wonderful wedding this summer! Happiness is the best revenge as they say. I am happy I am not alone in these problems 🙂 Thank you for sharing!! 

 

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