(Closed) FMIL Rant (somewhat)

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Bummer she’s stressing you out.

I think the Future Mother-In-Law dress is perfectly fine and normal. It looks appropriate.

All that other stuff sounds like typical mother/grandmother jabber. I wouldn’t take it to heart. She’s probably just excited and remembering her own wedding, we all have different visions of what is beautiful. Just keep politely telling her, “naw I’m going to do it this way.”

Post # 4
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

So… What does she expect everyone to eat without catering? 

I always think that the child of the in-law should get involved in any conflicts. Especially since you guys have a good relationship, you don’t want to ruin it. 

Post # 5
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Oh and that dress is tOtally fine. It may be light colored, but it looks nothing like a wedding dress. 

Post # 6
Member
1071 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

That dress is not white…… 

Post # 7
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

That dress only reflects poorly on her, and says nothing about you! 

Post # 8
Member
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I like her dress.it is great that you have a good relationship.Dont sweat the small stuff.

Post # 10
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Wow, you have absolutely nothing to worry about with your Mother-In-Law wearing that to your wedding, it’s not at all bridal, and yes that is beige.

Post # 11
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

….that is not an appropriate color to wear to your wedding!! i am glad she got another dress! I’m sure she’ll get over buying another one, and if you guys get along well apart from this it will be water under the bridge. But for the record, that is waaaaay to close to white.

Post # 12
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here…

Dress was pretty, but a poor colour choice… just too dang light, and ya the pictures with her in it would have looked out of balance (which is one of the MAJOR Reasons there is a NO WHITE rule to begin with)

I think sometimes that MOBs and FMILs get all wrapped up in the excitement of the Wedding… because it reminds them so much of their own Wedding History… consequently they tend to go overboard down “memory lane” and make some very bridal-like decisions (such as this dress) or express too much of their opinion as being the ONLY WAY to do things.

That is probably what happened in regard to this Dress.  Obviously you weren’t the only one who picked up on the faux pas (lol 2 Guys too… Fiance & FFIL).  So now it has been rectified.  I was happy to hear that

Sounds like you and your Fiance have a good grip on your “vision” and what it is you are wishing for.  Your Mother-In-Law will adapt.  In the end I think you’ll all come out the other side relatively unscathed.  She may not agree 100% with what you have in mind, but from an Etiquette point of view she is fairly well behaved (having a complete melt down over this situation would have been much much worse… and something I’ve read too many times here on WBee)

So take a deep breath, and count your Blessings… sounds like you’ll end up in an eviable position with a good Mother-In-Law when all is said & done.

 

Post # 13
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@Mrs.C.to.bee:  

Welcome to the world of mother in laws! It’s funny that outfit is almost identical to the one my mother is wearing at my wedding, I helped her pick it out, I believe the correct term of that color is “Champagne.” It doesn’t look white and it’s a very good, neutral color for photos, as it doesn’t clash with other colors.

Having said that, sounds like your mother in law is just doing what MIL’s do best, annoy the crap out of you. I’d just smile and nod and ignore her, no point in arguing because she isn’t going to change. Oh, and programs are a must! And a bustle, too. 😀

Post # 16
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Very interesting. Try not to let her get to you.

As for the hold your dress in your hand thing, there are cute alternatives to bustles, where there is a wrist strap for the train – it looks really cute on the right dress, but I personally wouldn’t want to be hassled with it!

I think her dress is fine – it’s very matronly – no one will mistake her for the bride. Beige is actually a color that MOGs traditonally wear – so I am sure it’s not coming from a mean spirited place.  What’s more disturbing is that your Fiance would think you would wear that! 

edit – misread that it was your Future Father-In-Law not your Fiance who thought that was your dress. Well, that’s definitely something my dad would say haha – men must grow stupider as time goes on.  Trust me though, next to your dress ( even if it’s an ivory) will look significantly darker than yours. 

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