(Closed) FMIL Rant (somewhat)

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 18
7556 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Just keep telling her “I’ll think about it.” Then do what you want. Or, you could assign her something that she completely takes care of, like the rehersal dinner. It sounds like she just wants to be included. 

Post # 19
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Use phrases like:

“That’s a nice idea.”

“Oh, I saw something like that on an episode of (Four Weddings/ SYTD / etc)!”

“Aw, thanks, that’s a nice suggestion but Fi and I already talked about it…”

“You would have to talk to Fiance, he handled that…”


I think it’s a slight mix of passive agression and also obliviousness (sometimes)!

Post # 20
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m sorry you are going though this!  I can relate.  I also have a good relationship with my Mother-In-Law and I have to say that I really love my inlawas.  But, my Mother-In-Law wore “white” to my wedding and it sucked.  In my husband’s cultural the women will often wear different dresses to the ceremony and the reception.  My Mother-In-Law had this dress and she kept saying she was thinking of wearing it to the ceremony.  It was “off white” and silver.  My dress was off white and silver!  I never directly said, “Don’t wear it!”  And my husband kept asking if we wanted me to tell her not to wear it, but I didn’t want to be bridezilla.  I helped her pick out a fantastic second dress and kept telling her she wouldn’t have time to change and to just wear that second dress to the whole thing.  I thought I had her convinced, but the day of my wedding she shows up in the white dress.  All of our formal pictures together are of her wearing that dress!  To make matters worse we had to wait for her to change between the ceremony and the reception before we could enter into the reception.  2 years later when I see pics of her in that dress I am still a little annoyed and I wish I would have just told her not to wear it!  But, the truth of the matter is that most other people probably didn’t notice, and if they did they knew she was in the wrong. 

Post # 21
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

“There’s a traditional saying about what the mother of the groom is supposed to do – Show Up, Shut Up and Wear Beige.”

Well, looks like she’s got it half right! :)-

Post # 22
349 posts
Helper bee

@rebwana:  You beat me to it, but THIS quote exactly!  Fortunately I am an MOB, but learning a great deal from posts like these about what not to do on my daughter’s big day. 

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