- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
Need a little advice/support and I am hoping you all can help. My FMIL is generously planning the rehearsal dinner. I know it will be a great time and she’s putting in a lot of effort, however shes ostentacious and I have a feeling she is going wayyyy overboard. I’m not really concerned about it outshining the wedding, but I fear she is just spending way to much money and I would prefer those funds to be reallocated to the wedding as we are cutting our budget to the bone. They also went ahead and invited several local family members and so now our guest list for it is up to 70 (just under half the size of the wedding). We were trying to keep it just for those actually rehearsing and out of towners who will be in the night before the wedding.
Nonetheless, money aside, everything she is planning as a surprise. Not sure why she wants it as a surprise but I don’t know how to politely ask her to please share her ideas. She has been asking FI for his opinions on a couple things, and of course he tells me the few things that he knows. FMIL is planning on having several baby/childhood pics of us and several of our engagement pictures on display at the tables. I thought this was a great and personalized idea. However, FI told me that he needs a picture of us thats atleast 1200×1200 pixels. I asked why and he told me that FMIL wants to make a lifesize cardboard cutout of us for fun.
I probably overreacted but I just lost my cool (on poor FI!) and totally freaked out. I’m a bigger gal, and very sensitive about my weight/appearance. I hate having my picture taken to begin with, let alone something lifesize! Ugh. Also, its completely a waste of money and unnecessary. Its a rehearsal dinner, not a circus! FMIL is also very self concious about her weight, and if the shoe were on the other foot, I’m sure she wouldn’t be too happy and would be really embarrassed, so not sure how she thought this was a good idea.
FI talked to her and explained that he didn’t think I would like it as he knows I’m camera shy and sensitive about my weight and a lifesize cut out would be going too far. He said it to her in such a way so that she doesn’t know I know. He said she said she wouldn’t do it but was disappointed.
To make a long story short, I’m just nervous about what else she might have planned that we don’t know about because everything is a surprise, and that she’s going way too far with all of this and is losing sight of the purpose of the event- to rehearse for our wedding. Any suggestions on how to get her to share her plans? I really don’t want to be humiliated or have a freak out . Help!!