(Closed) FMIL RSVP with uninvited guest…What to do?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Your fiance should just tell her that her invitation was for one person and the guest list is full, so you guys will be unable to accomodate the other people she RSVPed for. (Why can’t the daughter she lives with drive her?)

Post # 5
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2001

Is it a professional driver or a friend of hers? If is a hired driver, I would say that they shouldn’t come.

Post # 6
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s your Future Mother-In-Law. Let it go and let her bring someone. Not worth potential drama

Post # 7
8390 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

It’s his mother. I think I would let this one slide.

Post # 8
1224 posts
Bumble bee

I think it’s a perfectly valid reason. Neither her nor his sister can drive, so what do you want them to do? Maybe suggest she carpool with someone who is coming but if she can’t then there’s nothing you can do. If this were a random friend I wouldn’t let it slide, but it’s his mother. She should be there.

Post # 9
3277 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

How many friends did your mother invite? Can any of them drive her?

Post # 10
622 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

she probably should have asked you before just RSVPing with extras, but i agree with pp – since it’s his mother maybe just let it slide.

Post # 11
1074 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014


@Westwood:  +1

Pick your battles, honey. This one may not be worth it. At least it’s just 1 and not 2 or more.

Post # 12
38 posts
  • Wedding: August 2016

I agree – pretty rude of her to invite the person without at least clearing it with you first. But… I also agree with trying to limit the amount of drama with the future inlaws. Is she dating this person (I know you said not seriously involved, but perhaps casually seeing)? If she’s not, and it’s truly just the issue of needing a driver, perhaps you could get someone else who’s going to the wedding to pick her up, as a favour to you.

Post # 13
2489 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

@hmwagner1454:  If it’s a professional driver like a hired driver…  I’d say he/she wouldn’t be invited anyway.  (Do you invite your limo drivers to the reception?  This isn’t any different.)

If it’s a friend…  I’d be sure to ask who this person is, and try your best to make sure it’s someone you know.  Suggest alternatives if necessary.  How small is the wedding?  It might be awkward for essentially a stranger to come.

I know there are legitimate reasons, but I’m curious… Why does your Future Mother-In-Law not have a license?

Post # 14
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

When I was planning a wedding a few years ago, my Future Mother-In-Law wanted to invite an additional 20+ people. (They were not paying a single cent toward the wedding). We said no, she said that she wouldn’t come if we didn’t invite these people. The wedding ended up getting cancelled.

Just let this one slide.

Post # 15
1343 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@hmwagner1454:  It’s his mother not some random guest or cousin. Give her the plus one. Also, you mentioned that you have no one else to drive her… I would say it’s kind of insensitive of you to not let her bring a plus one as her driver. It’s ONE extra person – for HIS mother.

Post # 16
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It’s his mom and 14 year old sister. Either let them bring the person who is willing to drive them to their son/brothers wedding, or pay their cab fare both ways. 

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