(Closed) FMIL Said WHAT?!

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

@sheltervet:   Why did you get brought up at all? That would be my deciding factor.  

Post # 4
47 posts

Very familiar to me. It’s come to the point that I only show face when needed. I tried to take the higher road for years, but it never paid off. Now I try to stay polite and accept the situation as is.

I think distancing yourself isn’t a bad idea, especially if you might say something you will regret. Do whatever will make you and your partner most comfortable. Good luck!

Post # 5
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

How strange. I’m so sorry.

Post # 6
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

that’s going to be awkward on the next visit.

why do families need to act like this?  i never understood it.

Post # 8
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@sheltervet:  No, you are not wrong to distance yourself. The only real question will be whether  your FH will do the same.

Post # 9
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You’re not wrong for wanting to distance yourself until you get a proper apology. But I do think it’s wrong to tell your family what she said (which I’m assuming you did from your last post saying they know what she said), because it’s just going to make things more difficult – especially if you do move past this down the road and it comes to holidays and kid’s birthdays and stuff where they’ll have to see eachother, and your family will still have her comments in their head.

Post # 10
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@sheltervet:  Keep a good distance but be polite when you see her, I know it will be tough to do but it’s for the best. Plus it shows you are the better person in the long run. You are getting married whether she likes it or not and she needs to show a little more respect for you and her son, your FH. She obviously has some issues that she needs to work out for her crazy self and it’s unfortunate that she said what she did. I’m sorry you are going through this, try to keep your head up!

Post # 11
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Keep your distance but be sure that when ever you do have to be around them that you and your Fiance present yourself as a cohesive unit. That way, maybe just maybe, Future Mother-In-Law might one day understand the ex is staying an ex and you’re the card she’s been dealt. 

Post # 12
13 posts
  • Wedding: October 2013

Yep, totally understand. I think you are totally in the right. My Future Mother-In-Law has basically said the exact same thing about me, my family, and fiance’s high school girlfriend. She’s also said many other horrible things (such as a 3-page letter to fiance that started out saying she should have had an abortion with him). 

I would and have distanced myself. I have not spoken to my Future Mother-In-Law since February 2012. She just came to visit my fiance this past weekend, and I left the house without saying one word to her and spent the whole day out. I won’t have anything to do with her. 

As far as our wedding, any part of the ceremony that involves the groom’s parents is being cut, and I feel no remorse about it after the things she has done and said. 

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