(Closed) FMIL: Same dress color as my BM… ?

posted 11 years ago in Family
  • poll: Would it bother you?

    Yes.

    No.

    I don't know.

  • Post # 3
    Member
    809 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Actually, a lot of people like this because they find it looks best in the pictures.  She might have asked you because she wanted to try and coordinate.  If this happened to me, I wouldn’t care unless she wore the SAME dress as the bridesmaids.  That would be kind of weird!

    Post # 4
    Member
    3423 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    no that’s terrible.

    When my FPIL were thinking about what to wear, I said, usually the mother dosn’t match the BMs, she agreed.

    Post # 6
    Member
    744 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    It wouldn’t bother me if my Future Mother-In-Law wore a dress the same color as the BMs. I think it would be worse if she picked something that totally clashed with everyone in the wedding party and stuck out like crazy, like picking a bright red dress when the BMs are all wearing muted greens. That would bother me more because in all the pictures that would just stand out and be like “Here I am, I am the star!”

    Post # 8
    Member
    116 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    You’re not crazy, that would probably bug me a bit too.  =)  I’m hoping that my moms will choose a darker or lighter shade of my colors so it looks good for the photos but doesn’t match perfectly.  If it makes you feel any better, my GRANDMA wants to get a dress like my BMs are wearing.  She’s 70 (mind you, a very young looking, in shape 70, but still…).  I’ve come to realize that people are strange and you just have to find a way to not stress about it (not that you are…).  =)

    Post # 9
    Member
    414 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @LoriKay628: For her other daughter-in-law’s wedding, she wore pink and the BMs wore red.

    Maybe that’s why this time she wants to coordinate – those colours are kind of clashy, I’d be more annoyed about that, as a bride.  I’d be fine with it if my mother-in-law wanted to match colours.

    Post # 10
    Member
    377 posts
    Helper bee

    Maybe she asked you because she wanted to coordinate (wear a color similar to the girls..pink is a muted red..) and because you gave her a sample..she thought you wanted her to match exactly..?

    Post # 11
    Member
    3993 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I think that since the styles tend to vary drastically, I kind of like the idea of my mother or Future Mother-In-Law matching a bit. Maybe just a different shade. My Mom was worrying about this when we went dress shopping. I want purple bms, and she found a really pretty purple dress. It’s a slightly different shade and a different fabric. When holding them up to eachother, there wasn’t anything weird about it. She also liked a grey/silvery one though.

    I don’t think there is a hard and fast rule for this (or is there?) but that it’s more personal preference. My Mom is one of my best friends, so even if she matched almost exactly I’d still be okay with it. lol.

    Post # 12
    Member
    116 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @AmeliaBedelia: off topic, but I wanted to say that I adore your name- I used to LOVE those books as a kid! =)

    Post # 13
    Member
    5592 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I’d definitely be more annoyed if she picked something that clashed. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    1722 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I think it’s pretty tacky of her, but I don’t think it’s anything to worry about. Don’t let little stuff like this stress you out. 🙂

    Post # 15
    Member
    1009 posts
    Bumble bee

    It would bother me.  If I were at a wedding and the Mother-In-Law was in the same color of the bridesmaids, I’d think she was trying to get attention.  

    Post # 16
    Member
    692 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I think it’s nice that she wants to coordinate, but it’s weird that they’re the same exact color.  She’s going to look like another bridesmaid, and your mom will stand out as wearing something different.  My BMs are wearing dark purple, so I told my mom and Future Mother-In-Law to not wear that exact color, but to wear something that goes.  My mom got a dark pink dress, and I told that to Future Mother-In-Law so she could coordinate.  (I believe the MOG is supposed to take cues from the MOB for dress style/fanciness.)

    If the styles are really different, I guess it could be okay that it’s the same color, but I think it’s a little odd.

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