(Closed) FMIL says we shouldn’t drink at our wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
1512 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Unless she’s paying for the entire wedding, she doesn’t really have a say here. It’s totally up to the two of you if you want to serve it or not.

Post # 5
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@CodijoC:  you are absolutely not out of line.  We all consider our families wishes when planning our weddings, but ultimately it’s your decision. 

My mom has thrown fits over flowers and my choice of rehearsal venue.  She’ll get over it 🙂

Post # 6
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee

Absolutely not!!! First of all its your wedding, and you can do whatever you want. And second of all, a wedding is a time to celebrate, if you want to have a few drinks to celebrate that is not a bad thing! What is her reasoning behind her disdain towards alcohol at the reception? 

Post # 8
Member
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Heavy usage of the bathroom? Tongue Out

Post # 9
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

LOL alcohol leads to other things? Yea like banging your husband on wedding night. Future Mother-In-Law needs to stand down.

Post # 10
Member
11374 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Although I do not normally consume alcohol, and my Darling Husband and I chose NOT to provide any alcohol beyond the choice of a champagne or sparkling cider toast at our own wedding, I’m not sure exactly to what your Future Mother-In-Law is objecting. Is she possibly concerned that, if you and your Fiance do not drink that your wedding may not be the best place for you to start? After all, if you are not used to consuming alcoholic beverages, you may find yourselves to be far more affected by a couple of drinks than someone who is very accustomed to drinking would experience.  This could be especially true on your wedding day, when the demands of having pictures taken could keep you from enjoying a full meal before you introduce alcohol into your bloodstream.  She may be concerned about how your having “a couple of signature drinks” could affect you.

Post # 13
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@CodijoC: My mom & stepdad paid for my sister’s wedding and she completely banned it, as she paid for it. All my sister had to pay for was for the soda/juice.  She said if my sister and Brother-In-Law wanted to have alcohol, they would have to buy it all and pay for all the fees involved.

Their reasoning was: not all guests drink (90% do-literately 90%), people don’t behave themselves as they normally would (getting frisky, getting loud, falling down-her words), and “paying” for people drinking and driving. “I can NOT believe people would be okay with that. I wouldn’t want that on my conscience.”

Well, that is not how the rest of us feel. Both my parents are divorced and remarried. My step dads’ family are the only ones that don’t drink-there were 10 of them there. Our family are not alcoholics, but we do go out on the weekends, have a drink or wine with dinner or something.

Mind you both my mom and stepdad drink a beer or 2 almost every day when they get off work and frequent the wineries in the summer. But drinking at my sister’s wedding was a problem *excuse me while I roll my eyes*

For my wedding, the fees for having alcohol are ridiculous and it is more than we actually are paying for the hall and food so it is just not worth it for us. And like you, we don’t drink very often. (FI has had the same 6 pack for almost a month now and I might go out and have a drink with my girls every other month).

So I definitely understand your stress! And I am sorry she is being like that. If you guys are willing to pay for it (of it comes down to that) I would definitelyyy do it!!

Post # 15
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

umm really its your day and you can enjoy a few cocktails if you want. Regardless if she pays or not. If she is paying she has every right to not contribute to the bar. After all the money we are spending on the open bar for I guest, I feel like if anyone has the right to get wasted or buzzed its Fi an I

Post # 16
Member
2981 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Oh, please! Seriously, what is wrong with FMILs on this board lately? Have they all taken crazy pills? Unless she’s paying, she can STFU. Scratch that. Even if she’s paying, she can still STFU b/c if you want signature cocktails, surely you’ll find another financial means to supply them to you and your guests.

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