(Closed) FMIL seems to not give a *beep* about anything (long)

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Your MIL’s life as she knew it fell apart. She’s had to start a career from scratch, at an age where it is far from easy. I suspect you know much less about her finances than you think you do. It’s quite possible the money she set aside to attend your wedding has now been eaten by legal expenses/beauty school/work clothes and supplies.  And it’s also quite possible in the throws her separation she thought she RSVP’d for a party she wasn’t sure how she was going to pay for anymore, but it somehow fell off her radar. 

Unfortunately, as much as she’d like to, she can’t focus money or energy on her son’s wedding due to her own life turmoil. I’d cut her lots of slack.

Post # 4
641 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I think that when you throw something as expensive as a Destination Wedding and then charge for your bachelorette party, there are going to be people who just don’t want to pay it, even if they do have the funds. It’s a shame that it’s your Future Mother-In-Law, but that’s her perogative.

Post # 5
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@charmed59:  I agree. I don’t think your wedding is what’s bringing out the worst in her, I think it’s the fact that her marriage is faling apart and she’s divorcing a man she’s been with for a very long time. it sounds like her entire life has really been thrown for a loop, she’s gotta be having a tough time financially, not to mention emotionally – I’m sure she’s happy for you and your Fiance, but the wedding stuff has to be kind of tough on her when she’s in the middle of a divorce. That’s no excuse to be nasty, but she’s not  she’s just having a tough time financially, which makes total sense since she has a lot of sudden financial worries she never had before.

I agree that I’d be cutting her some major slack.

Post # 6
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

i think you need to cut her some slack. By the sounds of it, there might be more than meets the eye to her financial situation. Her life is upside down in many ways it seems and she might just not have much energy left for the wedding. I know it hurts…but sometimes people only have so much left in them. 

My wedding is destination and we’re thinking of going to Vegas or NY for bachelorette and in all honesty, I want everyone to know there is no pressure to come. If people want to they can but I won’t be offended if the expense is too much. I am thinking of throwing a pool party at our place as well so people who can’t come can relax and have some fun with me before the wedding at no cost. 

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