(Closed) FMIL seriously just offered to clean my house…as a wedding gift.

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 46
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

She probably didn’t mean it in an offensive way, and meant it completely harmless. However, I wouldn’t allow my Mother-In-Law to clean our house, which is my husband’s and I, meaning our intimate place. It would just feel uncomfortable. I wouldn’t want anyone stumbling on lingerie, etc. HA!

Post # 47
2704 posts
Sugar bee

My Mum did stuff like this so I suppose I am used to it. I don’t think she meant to offend you and probably truly thought it was a nice thing to offer. If you don’t want to take her up on it just politely decline and move on. 

Post # 48
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I’m a terrible housekeeper so I’d welcome the chance not to have to pay the cleaning lady that week.

But, you said it would be a month before the wedding.  Does that mean she’d stay with you for a month?

Post # 49
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I would probably have the same reaction at first, even though I doubt she meant anything by it. It was surprising to me how many people said they’d go for it if their Mother-In-Law offered this – I would freak out and clean everything as much as possible beforehand too. But maybe I should keep an open mind if something like this ever comes up 🙂

Post # 51
524 posts
Busy bee

I am with you on this – no way would I let my Mother-In-Law clean my house – I hate it when she says she wants to do dishes or to cook (I have a 5 mo baby, so people assume that you want them to do these things and don’t take no for an answer). However, this reminds me of the german tradition at weddings, in which the relatives of the couple vouch to do something nice for the couple for each month of the first year of their life together. Someone might offer to bring them breakfast in January, or wash their car in March. So Mother-In-Law offer could very well be: clean your house in August.

Post # 52
2721 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

She’s doing this because she thinks your house is dirty.  I’d be offended.  And she would never be invited into the house again.

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by strawbabies.
Post # 53
5046 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
Kristina1213:  It IS offensive, but I did chuckle when I read your thread title. My mom is also a type A, Martha, clean freak. I think people have all different levels of what they consider clean and mine is good (little dust, a few papers I don’t know where to put), but mom is immaculate. If it’s going to stress you out, I’d just say, no thank you.

Post # 54
4509 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I think it’s a rather generous gift considering you are under a lot of pressure with preparing for a wedding.  You may not feel comfortable accepting her offer (which is fine) but in no way do I find this offensive.  

Post # 55
2633 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
Kristina1213:  well, my mother in law came over a few days before the wedding (they only live about 45 minutes away though) and she helped me clean the house so we wouldn’t be going crazy or worrying about it. All of the bridesmaids got ready at my house so she came to help me get everything together so it would look presentable in pictures and be organized for when everyone came.

Also, we were staying at a hotel the night of the wedding so she wanted us to come back to a nice clean place and just relax and start our lives without any stress. I think its a nice gesture.

Post # 56
638 posts
Busy bee

That sounds like something my mother would offer to get out of giving a real gift. Not to say that’s what your Future Mother-In-Law is doing… but no way.

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