Post # 46
She probably didn’t mean it in an offensive way, and meant it completely harmless. However, I wouldn’t allow my Mother-In-Law to clean our house, which is my husband’s and I, meaning our intimate place. It would just feel uncomfortable. I wouldn’t want anyone stumbling on lingerie, etc. HA!
Post # 47
My Mum did stuff like this so I suppose I am used to it. I don’t think she meant to offend you and probably truly thought it was a nice thing to offer. If you don’t want to take her up on it just politely decline and move on.
Post # 48
I’m a terrible housekeeper so I’d welcome the chance not to have to pay the cleaning lady that week.
But, you said it would be a month before the wedding. Does that mean she’d stay with you for a month?
Post # 49
I would probably have the same reaction at first, even though I doubt she meant anything by it. It was surprising to me how many people said they’d go for it if their Mother-In-Law offered this – I would freak out and clean everything as much as possible beforehand too. But maybe I should keep an open mind if something like this ever comes up 🙂
Post # 50
- Wedding: September 2015 - Country Club
I’ve had time to think about it and talk about it with my fiance, and I still find it weird. No, she would not be staying with us for the month leading up to the wedding (I’d kill her). I mentioned to Fiance about having her hire us a merry maid or two instead of having her take time away from work/fly all the way here. And he said she’ll hate that idea and then I talked to him more about how I’m really offended by this whole deal, my mom lives 20 minutes way, is retired and could come clean if I asked her to, but I’m not. And I think he finally got that I was hurt by the offer.
I did mention after some previous posters mentioned how in 5-10 years when I have kids I might regret this and he laughed at said “uh no, she’ll still come, don’t worry!” So, I think we’re ok now that Fiance and I are on the same page. He just didn’t see anything wrong with the whole deal at first and then I told him what my BFF said (“wow, that’s such a Mother-In-Law to do”) and then he was like “Yeah…it is.” I had said that night that I didn’t want her to come right before the wedding to which he said “Well when? After the wedding, like mid-October?” and I was so shell shocked I had said “Ok whatever” and then last night he said “Yeah I didn’t think abou that, we’re only going to be married a month. I don’t want my mom coming to visit us a month into our marriage.”
She’s offered to clean to help us as we’re looking to put our house on the market…eventually. I said I didn’t want to do it before the wedding as I’d be up to my eyeballs in stress. I know its an offer coming from what I assume is a kind place but I also JUST had her here a month ago so I’m just touchy about her opinion of our home.
Post # 51
I am with you on this – no way would I let my Mother-In-Law clean my house – I hate it when she says she wants to do dishes or to cook (I have a 5 mo baby, so people assume that you want them to do these things and don’t take no for an answer). However, this reminds me of the german tradition at weddings, in which the relatives of the couple vouch to do something nice for the couple for each month of the first year of their life together. Someone might offer to bring them breakfast in January, or wash their car in March. So Mother-In-Law offer could very well be: clean your house in August.
Post # 52
She’s doing this because she thinks your house is dirty. I’d be offended. And she would never be invited into the house again.
Post # 53
It IS offensive, but I did chuckle when I read your thread title. My mom is also a type A, Martha, clean freak. I think people have all different levels of what they consider clean and mine is good (little dust, a few papers I don’t know where to put), but mom is immaculate. If it’s going to stress you out, I’d just say, no thank you.
Post # 54
I think it’s a rather generous gift considering you are under a lot of pressure with preparing for a wedding. You may not feel comfortable accepting her offer (which is fine) but in no way do I find this offensive.
Post # 55
well, my mother in law came over a few days before the wedding (they only live about 45 minutes away though) and she helped me clean the house so we wouldn’t be going crazy or worrying about it. All of the bridesmaids got ready at my house so she came to help me get everything together so it would look presentable in pictures and be organized for when everyone came.
Also, we were staying at a hotel the night of the wedding so she wanted us to come back to a nice clean place and just relax and start our lives without any stress. I think its a nice gesture.
Post # 56
That sounds like something my mother would offer to get out of giving a real gift. Not to say that’s what your Future Mother-In-Law is doing… but no way.