(Closed) FMIL seriously raining on our parade. What would you do?

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 3
47412 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

My best advice is to keep your head held high, ignore what she has said, let your Fiance deal with his Mom.

She who laughs last, laughs best. When you are celebrating your 1st, 5th, 10th, or 25th anniversary, the family members will know that she was completely being mean-spirited.

Post # 4
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Sent from my Android

ditto what pp. Try to enjoy your engagment pumpkin 🙂 and let fh deal with him mon.

Post # 6
9048 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Ugh, I have a mother in law that’s a master of the back handed compliment… just keep your head up and kill her with kindness. 

Post # 7
5988 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

as your Future Mother-In-Law has been generally nice to you in the past could it be a matter of miscommunication and its her concerns for her sons health that has her hitting out at you?

not saying its OK for her to do this but i know from my own mother she has in the past tried to make my husband out to be the bad guy because i refuse to share with her whats going on in my life (only because i now consider my husband and i a family unit) and it was her frustration at this that had her trying to belittle my husband for being controlling when in fact it was her behaviour that had me distancing myself from her

Post # 8
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Could there be something else going on with her? My fiance’s dad is generally a perfectly nice guy who has been quite pleasant and affectionate towards me. Then he went ballistic and did some really inappropriate things. We later found out that things were going on at his work, and a family member filled us in on his childhood and how he turned out to be such a passive aggressive nutcase.

Doesn’t make it ok, but gives me some insight.

Post # 10
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Also, just wanted to mention, our wedding prep person said when we have major conversations with either person’s family, we should do it as a couple, and not alone. Apparently if one person goes on their own to their family with negative news, the family will automatically assume it’s the partner who is responsible for the bad news, not their dear perfect child.

Just thought I’d share, in case it is appropriate for you 🙂

Post # 12
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Oh my! looks like you have already gotten some great advice though, kill her with kindness! My parents were super negative about our wedding too, I decited to skip thanksgiving with them but plan to see them suring my spring break, i just need time to get over it. I understand you dont want to see Future Mother-In-Law but maybe in time will help you get over it. Planning my wonderful wedding has helped me forget how much it kinda stung and now it hardly bothers me at all. Hoping for the best for you and like pp said, enjoy your engagement!

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