Post # 1
I am the lucky girl that has TWO Future Mother-In-Law — FI’s parents divorced when he was 3 or 4, and they both remarried almost immediately, so he has a mother and a stepmother. Normally, I get along with them both very well but this wedding business has caused a lot of stress on everyone.
The closer we get to the wedding, the more “involved” his stepmother has become. I know that she means well and I know that she’s just excited about things, but lately she’s just become way too much for me to handle. She wants to know or offer her help and advice on every.single.last.detail and gets so hurt and upset if she gets left out.
For example: we had pre-cana this weekend. The introduction was Friday night. We woke up Sat morning to emails from her asking how it went. We had nothing really to say, and were busy, so didn’t respond right away. Two hours later, she called Fiance. Then she called him again last night. All so she could hear him say “yes, we went. We went around in a circle and introduced ourselves. Everyone was nice”. Today, she calls me and leaves me a voicemal “I know pre-cana is cheesy, but try to have an open mind and you might get something out of it” (this IRRITATES me to no end, don’t make assumptions about how I feel about something!) Our class ended at 6, we got home at 6:10, and she called AGAIN at 6:20!!! I didn’t answer, and she emailed again at 7!!
I just don’t get why she HOUNDS us. One email would have sufficed. I feel like she is SUFFOCATING me. I am more than happy to share things with her, just give me some space please!
And this is just one example out of hundreds. I don’t want to bore you with all of them now LOL. But I don’t know how to deal with this, and neither does my Fiance because she is so emotional and passive aggressive she will just cry and it will turn into WWIII.
Anyone have any suggestions for me? Ways for me to stay sane? I have four months to go until the wedding and I need to keep it together!
Post # 3
I would not talk about the wedding around her. Just be social instead, you can always get around the conversation. Just give up details that are done or can’t be changed. She sounds insecure.
Post # 4
That is tough. It sounds like she is trying to be supportive by asking questions…it’s just going a little too far! I would try answering her question with a question. If she asks about something, say it’s going well, and then ask about something going on with her. She may try to go back to it, but hopefully it will help. Is there a task that she could be solely responsible for? Maybe that would help.
Post # 5
She is INCREDIBLY insecure and hacving a hard time ‘letting him go’ even though he is only her step-son. (she couldn’t have children of her own, and I don’t have a family that is involved in my life, so to in her eyes — her and I are a match made in heaven, except I don’t need or want a replacement mother!) anyway ….
There really isn’t a task I can give her as everything is already done and I don’t trust her anyway. Example: I invited her to my first dress fitting since the seamstress was her recommendation. I didn’t let anyone else see my new dress (not even my MOH), I wanted everyone to see it after it was altered, and perfect. What does she do? Calls up his mother and invites her to come as a SURPRISE to me. I was furious. My dress fitting is not freaking show and tell! The worst part? She was doing it to throw it in his mother’s face that I asked her (the stepmom) to go and not his actual mom. She makes everything a competition between the two of them. So I can’t even trust her to do one simple thing!
And then the day before my fitting she emails me and says “I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOUR FITTING YOU WOULD THINK I WAS THE BRIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Ok lady, you need to calm yourself, you are not the bride, and there is no reason you should be this excited.
She has NO life and lives to torture us. I swear.
Post # 6
Bump for the daytime bees??
Post # 7
Oh geez…that would get overwhelming! Maybe you could tell her that you just need a little space as wedding planning can be stressful, and you and fi want to do things just you two. And tell her you don’t want to talk wedding 24/7…you’re just not that kind of bride. 😉 good luck and deep breaths!