(Closed) FMIL there in the room while you get ready on the big day?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

You know, come to think of it, I havn’t been to a wedding where the Future Mother-In-Law was in the room with the rest of us. No particular reason, but she wasn’t there.

My Mother-In-Law was off doing her own thing, so I didn’t invite her, it would of been super awkward to invite her. But, even though you arn’t that close, you do seem to have a pretty friendly relationship w/ her so I think an invite would be a very nice gesture 🙂  

Post # 4
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

My Mother-In-Law was there when I was getting ready.  Like you, her daughter (my SIL) was a Bridesmaid or Best Man who was also there.  I wanted her to feel included.  Every wedding where I have been a Bridesmaid or Best Man, I think the Future Mother-In-Law got ready with us all too.

It’s not like she can really go hang out with the guys changing and getting ready so she is kind of excluded if she can’t be with the girls.

ETA: My dad was with all of the guys getting ready for the same reason.  He can’t really be in the room with me and all of my BMs changing!

Post # 5
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I didnt have my Mother-In-Law there. I think a brides mom should have that moment and not have to share it with the Future Mother-In-Law. Only my family was with me and his family was with him (one of my Bridesmaid or Best Man was my SIL as well). It just felt right for it to be the girls and my mom. 🙂

Post # 8
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

When I got married we got ready at the venue (it wasn’t a hotel) so there was really only one room for the girls to get ready in. I don’t think my MIL/SIL got dressed there, but they were defiantly in and out of the room since SIL’s daughter was one of the flower girls. Honestly I think there were quite a few people in and out of the room all day (bridesmaids, flowergirls, my mom, aunts, my grandma, SIL, MIL) but it didn’t really seem to bother me. I don’t even remember who all was there when I was putting my dress on, I was focused on other things! 

When they were around they defiantly weren’t intrusive and stayed out of the way so I’m sure that makes a difference. You might just offer a casual invitation that she’s welcome there if she wants, that way she knows she can be around but doesn’t feel like she has to? 

ETA: Forgot to add, we also had a bathroom attached so it’s not like anyone HAD to change out in front of everyone if they didn’t want to. Maybe that made a difference too?

Post # 9
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I am going to make sure my Future Mother-In-Law knows she came come by the room to check-in and get ready with all of us, if she likes. She’s getting her hair done when we all go. I don’t want to make it a “plan” to have her join us since she probably would appreciate having flexibility to see her son when she wants that day as well. But, I think it would be a nice feeling to know she’s wanted with us anytime she wants to pop in. Just not sure how to phrase it exactly, but I’ll figure it out.

Post # 10
Member
6824 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

As of right now I don’t plan to have her there as we get ready, probably won’t have my mom either.  It is just not something I want to do is have either one of them there.

Post # 11
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

I am not, especially because logistically it doesnt make sense (hotel and reception far from my mom’s house) and because she has two daughters so I would have to invite all three.  

Post # 12
Member
2463 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

i was getting ready at the same hotel as my mom and mil, and they both just kind of came in and out when they wanted. my mil wasn’t in there the whole time at all–she had her own make up person in her room for her and sil, but she came by to give me a hug and such. my mom was there more of the time, but my bridesmaids and moh were there most with me

Post # 13
Member
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

My Mother-In-Law did not get ready with me nor did I invite her to either.

Post # 14
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’ll invite Future Mother-In-Law to the primping part (maybe not the whole naked to getting dressed part), but since Mr.ND is an only child, I want her to be able to have some of those ‘girl time’ moments with us. 

Post # 15
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I should state that I was getting ready at my apartment as well…so it just didnt really work in general. My two sisters and my mom spent the night with me and then that morning my SIL, other 2 Bridesmaid or Best Man, videographer and photographer came to the house (and by house i mean small apartment) so logistically there just wasnt room either.

On that note though, if i was at a larger place, I still probably wouldnt have invted her.

Post # 16
Member
2829 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I have a great relationship with my Future Mother-In-Law so if she wants to be there then she is more than welcome. More than likely it will be me and a few girlfriends, my mom is Out of Town so she will likely just show up for the ceremony/reception.

The topic ‘FMIL there in the room while you get ready on the big day?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors