(Closed) FMIL there in the room while you get ready on the big day?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
Member
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m inviting my Future Mother-In-Law to be with us. My dad will be with Fiance so why shouldn’t Future Mother-In-Law be with me?! Plus with her hubby being off with my Fiance and her daughter being one of my BMs, I would feel bad… Like she had no one to hang out with. 🙁

Post # 33
Member
923 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m not totally sure how I am going to approach this.  Like some of the OP’s have said, I am super close with my mom, and kinda want for the getting ready stuff to be just with her and not Future Mother-In-Law.  I know I am going to cherish those moments with her.  Don’t get me wrong, Future Mother-In-Law is great, but we’re not super close, and honestly, I’m not sure she would want to be there.  Future Father-In-Law is kinda…high maintenance…and I’m guessing she’ll keep him satisfied, and hopefully quiet.  I am planning on inviting Future Mother-In-Law, Future Sister-In-Law and FI’s Grandmother to peek in if they want at some point before the ceremony, but I can’t see them being there the whole time.

Post # 34
Member
5103 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’ll definitely ask my Future Mother-In-Law. She’ll feel left out and hurt if I don’t. And if she wants to do her own thing, then at least I asked 🙂

Post # 35
Member
656 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Not engaged yet..but I would definitely invite his mom to be in there with us. I have a feeling we’ll be getting married at the church his family goes to (my family isn’t really religious)..so it would be weird not to invite her. She’s one of the nicest people I know, and I love her a lot. Also, she has three boys and no girls..so like a lot of other people said..I want her to enjoy some girl time with us! I’ll definitely be inviting her to pick out dresses and stuff like that too, when the time comes!

Post # 36
Member
2904 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@hibiscusgirl:At my sister in law’s wedding, my Mother-In-Law (her future MIL) was there. All the family women were there, plus her bridesmaids and the flower girl.

Post # 37
Member
2904 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

View original reply
@Zinzerena:hahha. At the very end (the dress part) it’ll probably just be me and my bridesmaids.

Post # 38
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Good question. I mean, I love her and I totally wouldn’t mind, but I’ll also be wearing leopard print skivvies under the dress so….hmmm awkward. Maybe she’ll want to spend some time with her son. I hope.

Post # 39
Member
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I was definitely going to invite Future Mother-In-Law.  The wedding’s at a resort, so our families will be staying in nearby places (a couple minute walk).  Future Sister-In-Law is one of my bridesmaids, so she and her mom will totally be at our place for getting ready, while the menfolk hang out at FI’s parents’ place.  I imagine Future Mother-In-Law will go see the boys at some point, and my dad will come see us obviously, but I think it would be awkward to exclude Future Mother-In-Law, especially if Future Sister-In-Law is there.  Of course, we all have a good relationship, which helps.  If I thought they’d stress me out, Future Sister-In-Law wouldn’t be a bridesmaid and Future Mother-In-Law wouldn’t be anywhere near me getting ready.

Post # 40
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Nope. She’s been a big source of drama and I refuse to have to deal with her when it will be hard enough coping with the fact that my dad isn’t here to walk me down the aisle. He died last year and I just want my mom and sisters with me when I’m getting ready.

Post # 41
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’ve been living with Future Mother-In-Law for the past 3 months (will be for one more month) and we get along pretty well so I’m really comfortable around her. All the ladies involved in the wedding will be getting ready at my house, hair stylists and everything, also she’ll be in town from australia staying at my mom’s house so it was never a question, just what was going to happen

Post # 42
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I do plan to invite Future Mother-In-Law to be there when I’m getting ready. I didn’t ask her to come when I picked out my dress, but I’ve decided to allow her to be there with the getting ready room. Her daughter is one of my BM’s.

Post # 43
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

My Future Mother-In-Law will be in the room with me if she wants to.  My Mom and I have taken a very open-armed approach with my future mother-in-law.  She has no daughters (only boys), so she’ll never get the chance to help plan, wedding dress shop, or experience any of those other things that come along with being “Mother of the Bride”.  Therefore, I have tried to include her in every part of the wedding planning process.  Thankfully my mother hasn’t taken offense to this because she is good spirited (and we occasionally do wedding stuff on our own too).  

In my opinion, the more the merrier when getting ready on the wedding day.  We’re all girls, so throw on some Girl Power music, Sip some Champagne, and Primp till we feel sexy!

Post # 44
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

The girls have one house, the guys have another to get ready in.  No idea where Future Mother-In-Law (and FSILs) will be hanging out.  But we have plenty of room, so privacy isn’t an issue.

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