(Closed) FMIL thinks nobody will come to wedding

posted 9 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think that sounds like a really good idea you you guys.  As long as you know that the people you want to be there will be there, that is all that matters. The only thing that might make a difference is if a large chunk of his family could not *afford* to come. If it turns into a really big issue with Future Mother-In-Law, then maybe you could have some sort of party in the city so his family could be invovled in one part of the celebration. It could be a cheaper thing, like a lunch, or just drinks and dessert, something along those lines.

Post # 4
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Kind of sounds like there isn’t really a problem.  You’re set on how you want to do it.  

If you’re trying to make your Future Mother-In-Law feel better about it, I think you have the right idea explaining to her, you would be happy to get some declines.  Maybe she doesn’t realize that that is what you want.  Also you might be facing her opinion of how she thinks a wedding should be.  (Whether it’s based on the number of ppl attending or not liking DWs etc.)

Good luck.

Post # 5
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Our wedding is also about 2.5 hours away. We are sending out STD this month for our Sept wedding to give people enough time to plan, so far everyone we have told is totally excited and planning on attending. If someone is unwilling to drive 2 hours and spend one night for you two maybe you don’t want them there any way. Hooray for destination brides!!!

Post # 6
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

we went to a wedding that far away. they had it at their college town, where they currently lived, but nobody else (family/family friends) does. since their families lived far away from eachother, they thought it would be a comprimise to do it where nobody lived. quite a few people showed up. i think it depends on your friends and family, but our friends were willing to travel for them.

Post # 7
2186 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

i am doing exactly the same thing – i am having it in my college hometown which is a semi destination wedding for both sides. that way if you REALLY want to be there you will, otherwise, oh well.

Post # 8
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

We are getting married 5 hours away and I’ve been really surprised at how many people have said that they are coming.  Most people are treating it is a weekend get-away.  I intend to invite people to showers that I know for sure can’t make the wedding so that they feel like they were still apart of the celebrations. Just remember that not everyone is going to like your plans and you just have to stick to what you and your Fiance want.  My aunt and uncle have commented twice now that they don’t like the location, have to spend money etc. etc.  But the truth of the matter is I see them only at Holidays and they live 30 mins from me. So if they want to come they will and if not my feelings.

Post # 9
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

my whole family lives 3-5 hours (or across the country) away from where we are getting married. everyone is using it as a mini vacation and we’re having our wedding on a sunday afternoon and so far nobody that we have told has complained about that. i think she’ll be surprised at how many people actually like going to a different location so that they can use it as a mini-vacay.

Post # 10
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I just had a destination wedding in San Juan, Puerto Rico and our guests had to fly anywhere from 4 to 8 hours to get there! We invited 100 guests and 30 people showed up and i would not have had it any other way. My mother had the same concerns as your Future Mother-In-Law, but I just decided to go with what I wanted and it turned out for the best. The people who truly wanted to be there for us were and it made for an intimate, warm, wonderful wedding. In addition, if you plan at least 1 pre-wedding event for all the guests to get to know each other, then they are able to bond and by the time the wedding day comes, they’ll all already know each other and be much more likely to mingle and dance! Go for it – it’s the best decision I ever made. Your Future Mother-In-Law will realize it on the day of the wedding : )

Post # 11
2459 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

we are having ours 1.5 hours away so everyone is treating it like a mini getaway. People would of had to travel regardless as both Fi and I are originally from country towns so at least now everyone has to travel.

Post # 12
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Ditto those reasons on why we’re having a Destination Wedding.  I wouldn’t worry about your Future Mother-In-Law.  She’s probably just not used to the idea of a non-traditional wedding location (meaning anywhere outside of the bride’s hometown).  Don’t let her comments get you down.  Like you said, your loved ones WILL come and I’m confident your Future Mother-In-Law is going to be surprised by the great turn-out!  🙂

Post # 13
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We got married 7 hours away and both sets of parents said the same thing.  As it turned out, we had 75 people which is exactly what we wanted.  There were definitely surprises both ways- people we didn’t think would make the trip did and people who we thought wouldn’t miss it couldn’t be bothered (namely 3 of his cousins who said they were definitely coming right up until it was time to send back their RSVPs- I’m still pissed!).  Honestly, we were happy with the way it turned out and it really reinforced who are real friends are.  And guess what, now I don’t have to go to his cousin’s house on Christmas Eve- Ha!

Post # 14
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I definitely wouldn’t alter you plans.  I totally understand your motives.  We kinda did the same thing.  The wedding isn’t so far away that the people who are most important to you won’t go but its just far enough for the others to decline the invite.  It’ll work out well! 

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