- 4 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
I honestly think my FMIL is going to make me lose my damn mind. I just need to rant/vent/get this shit out of my system before I completely snap on this woman. I’ll try to keep this short, but I can’t make any promises!
So a bit of background: FI and I are having a small beach DW next spring. We’re planning a very laid-back, bohemian/rustic style wedding. We didn’t want a big, fancy party because that is not who we are. We wanted something casual and intimate with the people that have been close to us through out our relationship. My parents are paying for the entire wedding and they are also paying for my FMIL’s travel expenses because supposedly she doesn’t have any money (which is complete BS because she spends money on the most ridiculous sh*t, but “can’t afford” to travel for our wedding)
So FMIL just came back from her nephew’s wedding out of state. For the purpose of this post I will call the nephew Tom and his mother Tina. Note: Tom’s mother, Tina, is my FMIL’s neice.
I hope you’re all still with me….
Anyways, Tom had a very “generic” old school style wedding, if you will… It was in a banquet hall, pearl satin linens and matching chair covers, blingy centerpieces, the bride wore a tiara and poufy dress… I think you get the picture. While this may have been lovely for them, it’s just not FI and mine’s style. In my opinion, it was kind of cheesy looking…
Now every time we’re at FMIL’s house she has to bring up the Tom’s wedding, telling us how “elegant” it was and compares it to our plans.
Here are some examples of conversations that happened at her house last night:
FMIL: What are you doing about hair and makeup?
ME: I hired someone to come to the house and do it.
FMIL: Well I need someone to come to my hotel and do mine too.
ME: Well its about $300 to have them come to your hotel. My mom and sister are doing their own hair and make up so I don’t really think you need a professional. Maybe we can find a good salon in town?
FMIL: Well for Tom’s wedding Tina rented a hotel room and hired someone to come do all of our hair and make up because that was a VERY elegant wedding.
ME: Well, we’re getting married on the beach and it’s going to be hot. And I’m telling you right now that our wedding is not going to be anything like Tom’s. We’re getting married barefoot on a beach in Mexico, not a banquet hall in Jersey.
FMIL: Well I still need my hair done! Tina did her hair like this and I want to do the same (and then proceeds to tell me that she basically wants to get the same exact updo that I’m having done)
ME: You can do whatever you want, but it’s expensive to have someone come to the hotel. I’ll see what I can find in town. (IN MY HEAD: I’M NOT PAYING FOR YOUR F-ING HAIR AND MAKEUP)
FMIL: Are we doing a mother-son first dance?
ME: Only FI and I are doing a first dance. I’m not doing a first dance with my dad either, it’s not really our thing…
FMIL: Well Tina had a first dance with her son Tom! I want a first dance with Mr.Anon1234, how are you going to skip the first dance?
ME: I already told you, this is not a traditional wedding and we’re not doing first dances with the parents. We think it’s awkward. I’m just dancing with my dad during the party, you have all night to dance with your son.
FMIL: ::gives me the poo-poo face::
I know the conversations above aren’t anything extradorinary…Maybe I sound bratty… But in my mind it’s just annoying. She keeps thinking that this is should be some extravagant affair because that’s what her nephew did. No matter how much we tell her – she doesn’t understand that this is a very casual wedding and it’s OUR wedding. Not hers, not Tom’s, not Tina’s… OURS. And this is the wedding WE want.
The most annoying thing lately the dress she has chosen to wear. My wedding color is purple and she picked a dress that is VERY similar to my wedding dress, but in the same shade of purple as my MOH’s dress. Also, her dress is NOT appropriate for a beach wedding, in my opinion.
Everytime something about the wedding comes up, she some how tries to make it about her. It’s just getting really annoying. She wants to be there for several days before the wedding (which I refuse to allow since we will be stuck paying for extra hotel days and basically babysitting her. We’re planning to fly her in just for the weekend). I swear if she could, she would come on our honeymoon too.
Her latest thing now is trying to make sure we invite enough of her extended family so that her ex-husband doesn’t have more relatives at the wedding than her. My FI has never even met half of the people she wants to invite and FI flat out told her it was NOT HAPPENING, so to get over it.
Anyways… I just had to get that out. Sorry if I sound crazy, but if I didn’t express myself on the here, I would probably snap at my FMIL the next time she says “well Tom did _____ at his wedding because it was soooooo ELEGANT”
If you made it through this long ass post – I commend you.
Feel free to tell me I’m being nuts or if my FMIL sounds like wacko.
I feel a little better after letting that all out.