(Closed) FMIL told me to comb my hair and wear lip gloss

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
5073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

response to all suggestions:

 

“Thanks, (or thank you, depending on mood lol)  but I’m good”

Post # 4
Member
7647 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t do it often, but when she does I just sing, “I’m a big girl now!” Like off those pampers pull ups commericials, lol. It’s a fun, non confrontational way to let her know that I can take care of myself without hurting her feelings. She ends up smiling every time–and she doesn’t bother me again 🙂

Post # 5
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

OMG.

I would just tell her I prefer being a frump. That would probably stop it!

Post # 6
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

hhaha no my Future Mother-In-Law thinks I shouldn’t care what I look like so Im on the other end of that 

Post # 7
Member
9548 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Hahahahah! I love the pampers idea! I can’t ever imagine my Future Mother-In-Law doing this but my grandmother (who I love to death) used to do this and it drove me up the wall. When I was a teenager we had a huge blow up over brushing my hair right before my cousins wedding. Then we decided it wasn’t worth it and things are mostly better now. But it still comes up occasionally. If it’s something I don’t really care about I’ll take her suggestion. If it is something I care about I let her know that this is how I’m doing ____ but thanks for the suggestion. Just hang in there and be firm without being mean. You can do it. Just be honest.

Post # 8
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Does she have daughters? Sounds like she’s really trying to “mom” you. I do this to my (3 year old) nieces. I only have one boy so when I’m with them, something comes out in me that makes me “mom”them and treat them that way…now they are 3years old though! I know some people, women, that are just like that, my sister is 37 and she still reaches over to fix my make up (I’m 31). I don’t take offence, sometimes I laugh, sometimes I swat their hand away and told, sometimes I scowl:)

Post # 9
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Like angelz, I was gonna say maybe she sees you as a daughter and she’s acting like a mom and it’s nothing personal

Post # 10
Member
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Ha! My mom went through these things with my paternal grandmother. Grandma thought that my mom never kept her house clean enough. So one day she came over and started cleaning my mother’s house. She even stepped up onto a chair to clean the top of the breakfront. My mom just sat on the couch and watched. Then my grandmother fell off the chair and hurt her head. That was the last time my grandma ever tried to clean the house. So I think sometimes doing/saying nothing is the best approach.  

Post # 11
Member
6018 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

I would be blunt and just say “no its ok, if I feel the need to do that I’ll do it on my own and it would be nice if you wouldn’t comment on my appearance so much, its starting to be offensive to me.”

Granted, my Future Mother-In-Law and I don’t have much of a relationship and the one we do have would allow for me to be this way about it. Plus, anyone who knows my personality would not think this to be out of character or rude. Including Future Mother-In-Law. So with that said, my suggestion may not help you much lol 🙁

Post # 12
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would say something along these lines….”I look just fine the way I am, so much so that I was clearly able to secure an engagement with your son.  He likes the way I look.  Are you questioning his taste?”  Say it kind of sweet and jokingly though.  My Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t do this so much with my looks but with how I act and things I do.  She is one of those people who by nature cannot go a moment without being overly critcial and is always pointing out how she would have done things differently.

Post # 13
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Great thread!

@megz06:  Oh that is fantastic, I will totally be using that.

My Future Mother-In-Law has been trying to change more and more of my appearance against my style (she’d be happiest if I looked like a stepford wife) sometimes I want to scream “I’m not a dress up doll! I’m a grown woman and I do not need to be mothered!”. She only has sons, a distorted view on what daughters are really like and the typical control issues 😉 

Post # 15
Member
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Does she not have a daughter of her own?

Post # 16
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@GroovyHippieChick:  This is my standard reply to all Father-In-Law suggestions, whether it be dietary, appearance-related, or anything else. They used to reply with “No, are you sure??? blah blah blah” but now they accept it as an answer and usually move on.

The topic ‘FMIL told me to comb my hair and wear lip gloss’ is closed to new replies.

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