(Closed) FMIL used sneaky tactics to get what she wanted

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
46408 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Fiance could have said no…

Post # 4
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yea, this is tricky. I don’t blame you at all, but it is Fiance brother so I think he may warrant an exception…but I do see where you are coming from…

Post # 5
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

how do u know Future Brother-In-Law made his mom ask?

Post # 6
8432 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It is FI’s brother so I tend to say yes invite the Girlfriend. I would be worried that this woman could one day be family and I haven’t been all that welcoming to the family by excluding her from my wedding. I would also suck it up and pay for the plate myself.

Post # 8
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think you need to let this one go. I think your Future Brother-In-Law warrants to have a date to his brothers wedding.

Post # 10
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

It seems like your Fiance was fine with it til you made it an issue. If he’s fine with having his brother’s gf there, and that was his original response (if he felt strong about something he’d have said no even when he was tired), then I think you need to let it go. By the way, who will be forking the $150 over and how? Do you expect the brother to write a check? Odd. 

I agree that it was messed up of the brother to say “yes I understand” 2 months ago…and now to change his word. He did what a lot of people do, say yes early on and then go back on their word. It really pisses me off when people do that. But, in the end…it’s up to your Fiance to lay down the law with his own brother so unless you two are on the same exact page, I’d just let this one go so you can be happy and move on with better things in life.

Post # 11
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Bears-bub:  lol u shouldve put that in the orginal post.

Post # 13
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I get where you’re coming from with your fiancé not standing up to your fmil. We don’t have this same exact issue but we do have issues of fiancé not standing up enough to his mom (IMO). So I can relate and it sucks 🙁


Re: his brother and girlfriend, on this one, I think it’s probably right to let him bring her. My sister isn’t dating anyone seriously but if she wanted to bring someone (even if she had only been with him for a week) I would let her. My family (immediate) and wedding party pretty much have carte blanche in terms of brinning a guest. Sucks but prob the right thing to do. 

Post # 15
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I’d be annoyed the way they went about it too. I used to do that as a kid – if mum said no, I’d ask dad 🙂

Hopefully it will be fine, you will meet her before the day and it will be the start of something nice. We had a guest ring up before our wedding asking if he could bring his gf. To be fair we don’t see him all that much so hadn’t known he’d been seeing anyone. I was pretty cranky about it but we said yes. We’ve now spent some great times with them as a couple and two weeks ago we went to NZ for their wedding so I’m glad now that we said yes 🙂

Post # 16
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

I get your frustration, but ultimately, there are bigger, worse things to get angry over in the scope of your in-law situation. Just try to relax, and be thankful the inlaws do not hate you and completely object to your wedding. 

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