(Closed) FMIL vent

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
608 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Sorry you are frustrated!  How long does she have to buy a dress?  Does she have to find a particular color or style?  Maybe you could start sending her some ideas and phrase them more like I thought you’d look great in this so it takes on a fun positive spin rather than “you need to do this now” kind of pressure.  I hope it works out!

Post # 4
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My Future Mother-In-Law made a similar comments, I finally told her, “I don’t care what you wear as long as you’re there!” That actually seemed to stop her complaining and then she actually asked if I prefered a certain style or color. I was amazed! Good luck with yours!!

Post # 5
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

This isn’t exactly last minute. Your wedding is months away and it is totally reasonable that she would be low on extra cash around the holidays.  Give her some slack.  If she has to come in a dress she already has in her closet then that’s fine.  Try to just focus on the things you can control.

Post # 6
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Why are you taking this project on?  Are you wanting to have a say in what she wears?  I say – ditch the effort and let her fend for herself.  She’s a grown woman and if she can’t figure out her outfit – it’s on her.  But, I totally understand the frustration.  My mother waited and waited and would not make a decision on a dress.  Most bridal shops were around 3-4 months for ordering dresses and she could NOT make up her mind.  She ended up getting an off the rack dress at a department store which totally worked and was on sale and super cheap.  If money is tight, maybe going that route would be best for her.  You can get formal dresses for not much money, these days – with all the sales going on, etc.  But, again – if it’s causing you stress, it’s not worth it.  Tell her she’s on her own!

Post # 9
Member
608 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Well maybe that’s your anwser, just let her deal with it on her own and stop helping.  Let her know you’d be happy to go shopping with her if she’d like company but don’t take on the added pressure to help her find something.  It seems that you are frustrated she is making you do all the work so maybe if you just let it go you won’t care so much?

Post # 10
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Honestly? You don’t need to stress about this. Who cares what she wears? It’s on her. Let her worry about it. And if she doesn’t find anything, that’s her problem.And if it’s not the right color, no biggie. I’ve never seen a Mother-In-Law or MOB match the wedding party.

You have bigger things to worry about.

Post # 12
Member
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would just drop this and let her deal with it. Why are you looking up dresses for her?

Post # 14
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Why does she have to be with you to look for a dress?  She’s an adult – let her do it on her own.  Trust me – she’s not going to show up at your wedding naked.  (And, if she does, that’ll be one helluva wedding story!!)

Post # 15
Member
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

@xshellx2003: Most Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses need to be ordered, your Mother-In-Law can walk into a department store the morning of the wedding and buy something. Also, now is a really weird time to find a Lilac dress. She’s probably better off waiting on the spring stuff to come in in February.

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