- 9 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
So I could probably make this very long, but I am going to try very hard to keep it fairly concise. My fiance’s mother is really starting to wear on me. The back story on her and our relationship with her is this: When my fiance was growing up both of his parents were drug addicts and definitely were not great parents (I am being nice). For instance when my now fiance and I were first dating he told me that I had cooked more meals for him in one month of dating than his mom did during his entire life. Turns out that was the tip of the iceberg. His mom left when he was 10 and she only saw him once a year or so because she “couldn’t afford the gas”. While his dad made mistakes while raising my fiance he has realized that and has tried to do a lot of him after he became clean. His mom on the other hand has made no appologies and appears to believe that she has done nothing wrong. Now that we are engaged she wants all the credit and all the rewards of being a mother, without having put in any of the work.
She has already told me to call her mom, something I will never be comfortable with because I do not see her as a motherly figure. She invite herself to come dress shopping with me and my mom when my mom goes to pick out her mother of the bride dress. Luckily my mom was there and told her that she really wanted that to be something that was just between her and me. Just last weekend she told me that she wanted to get ready with me on the day of the wedding and for special circumstances with the venue that is not really possibility, but I still have a feeling she is going to push it. Finally, last weekend we went to a wedding and they did a mother/son dance. The entire time she was saying to me and my fiance “I’m gonna get one of those” and instead of telling her that he did not want to do one with her he kept making jokes.
Now I know that my fiance does not like dealing with his mother, but I do not know how to either. I don’t know if we should tell her before the wedding that there will really be no mother/ son dance, or if we should ignore it and just not have one on our wedding day. I am so close with both of my parents and they did a wonderful job raising me and supporting me through college and graduate school, so I will definitely be having a father/ daughter dance, and I will definitely include my mom in everything, but since my fiance and his mom do not have a relationship I do not feel like I need to include her in anything and at the same time don’t know how to tell her.
I could use some advice, so please help! Is there anyone out ther with similar experiences?? So much for keeping it short, haha.