- 4 years ago
- Wedding: March 2014
Okay so a little back story before I start:
FMIL did NOT raise FI. Yes, she was there for him but as far as being there for him everyday, she was not. He did not live with her from age 7 on.
Okay I also must say that I sent her and her daughters a text, but I also sent it to others in a group message so they didn’t feel like I was trying to single them out although the text was honestly only for his mom. This is exactly what the text said:
“Hey everything! My due date is right around the corner and I just wanted to ask everyone, of you’re going to visit us please be sure to do so while we are at the hospital. Once we are home we just want peace and quiet. Also I need everyone who is coming to visit us in the hospital to get their whooping cough shot. This is serious. The baby’s immune system is not as strong as ours and I can’t have him getting sick. Thanks everyone!”
His mom and sisters never responded. Two days later his mom e-mails me something about our registry. Basically saying her friend had bought something. I didn’t respond for two reasons; 1 I had the day off for FI’s birthday and didn’t want to be bothered and 2 I just didn’t want to talk to her. So because I didn’t respond she sends the same e-mail AGAIN, not a technical glitch. I still don’t respond. So she sends it AGAIN!! Yes she sent the same e-mail 3 times because I didn’t respond meanwhile I’m still waiting on a response from two days ago! I text her and say sorry I’ve been busy I got your e-mails thanks!
Okay so now that you have the back story of everything let’s get into what happened yesterday. We go over there after she was harassing FI about going over. Everything is fine until I bring up the fact that neither her or her daughters (one of the daughters was there) didn’t respond to my text. LORD what was that for she starts crying and saying she was so offended and so was her whole family and blah blah blah. She tells me how her oldest daughter (who was NOT there) told her mother (FI’s grandmom) as well as FI’s great aunts about the text message and they said we don’t have to worry about them coming over because they won’t. So now I’m like WTF?! I tell his mom that if I wanted to send it to his grandmom I would have the reason I didn’t was because I knew she wouldn’t be coming to visit I only sent the text to those who I knew would try to visit us at home.
Now I want to make this clear in sending this text I was not trying to say NO ONE can EVER come over and visit. No I’m just saying give us time. Something they would have understood if they would have ASKED me, instead of assuming things. Yes I thought about calling her but again I didn’t want her to feel singled out so I figured a text would have been easier and had they had any question I would have called so things wouldn’t get misunderstood. So FMIL and I are going back and forth and no matter how me or FI worded it she just was not coming to terms with it. She was like okay I understand and still crying and super upset.
Personally I feel as though because she missed things with her son she’s trying to make up for it with my son but again his my son, mine and FI’s son and I need her along with everyone else to respect us as parents. I tell her how I care for her but it is very overwhelming for me when I’m always getting e-mails and text messages asking me to remove something from our registry (aka that someone being her!) I’m not lying guys at least every other day I get a text like this.
She starts giving examples such as well I would never disrespect MIL and my MIL does x, y, and z for me and I appreciate it. So I say to her are you saying I disrespect you? She says no. So I then say are you saying I’m unappreciative of the things you do? Her respond….No well….kinda, yeah. So before I could even say anything she goes on to say that EVERYTHING that has been purchased on my registry (besides 3 things my girlfriend bought), that she she bought it all. That my family has bought a thing.
Now this is where things got hairy. Say what you want about me about me but don’t ever sit there and try to throw my family under the bus!! So I get up and start collecting my things and say I have to go. She’s like no you don’t have to go and I said “YES I do! You need to understand that my family has been there for me since day one, my mom has been there for me every single day of my life! She is my number 1 and no one can take that from her!”
I feel like FMIL things that by buying things she can buy love. NO that’s not how it works. She can buy her son the moon and the stars and it won’t change the fact that every night when he was sick it wasn’t her who was there, every time he had a good moment or bad moment it wasn’t her who was there in that moment. No item that can be purchased in the world could change that. And that’s why I chose to walk out. Because had I stayed there I would have told her all of that and I didn’t want to hurt her.
Fast forward 15 minutes after we leave his sister who was there was texted me and was very nice and was trying to basically clear it but and what not. I get to where I was going use the bathroom and a little bit of pink not full on blood thank god! Now I have had a lot worst in my pregnancy and went to the ER so I knew not to worry because it was NOTHING. It was pink and it was like a thin streak (kinda like after having sex) My doctor told me if it was more then to come in and it wasn’t thankfully plus I have an appointment with him today but COME ON! I shouldn’t have to be this stressed out!
!I just had to let it outI’m sorry if there were any type-o’s I was very…eh passionate while typing this up lol