Post # 1
Being from North Carolina, I grew up with the Groom’s Cake tradition – being served at the Rehearsal Dinner, his moment of glory, Groom gets to be the star. I emailed Future Mother-In-Law seeing if it would be okay with her to have the cake at the rehearsal dinner she is hosting. She clearly said no – have it at the reception or as a birthday cake for Fiance instead.
She’s hosting, I get it. She gets to plan it. I just didn’t realize someone would NOT want a fun thing like that there haha??
Anyway, she’s made her point clear.
Do I explain why having it at the reception isn’t an option? hoping she’ll open up to the idea of having it at the Rehearsal Dinner? Or just say, nevermind. We’re having a Taco night at our house the Thurs before for the wedding for out of town family and I can do it then, on my own turf?
Post # 3
I agree with you — really, she’s going to veto you bringing in a fun cake? But I voted not worth the battle because even though she’s being silly, it’s not worth arguing over a cake.
Post # 4
Why isn’t having it at the reception an option? We had our grooms cake at the reception and it’s quite common.
Post # 5
Hm, maybe she just doesn’t understand the tradition? Does your Fiance really want a grooms cake? Does she have a history of being strong willed and having things her own way, or is this kind of out of character for her? I ask because if she’s usually difficult, and the groom’s cake isn’t really important to your Fiance, then I say pick you battles and drop it. But if she’s usually a reasonable person and you get along well, she might have just never heard of a grooms cake, and dismissed it because she wants to take care of everything at the Rehearsal Dinner for you? If so, then talk to her about it one more time, explain why you want it at the Rehearsal Dinner and what it means to you both, and maybe she’ll come around once she gets it. If it doesn’t work, then I think having it at the Thrusday night dinner is perfect.
Post # 6
Why is having it at the reception not an option? I have eaten a grooms cake at the reception at several weddings.
Post # 7
Thanks for the feedback!
@ Moose – Its just not an option for what we have planned for the reception – Lots of people have both cakes at the wedding. It was just tradition to have it at the Rehearsal Dinner.
We’re already having a multi-cake dessert buffet and while that might seem the perfect place, I want Fiance to get a moment of glory. and with all the other things we have planned for the reception, it’d be a photo op and then that’s it. So between all the other cakes we have and my personal preference to surprise him before, that’s why I don’t want to have it at the reception.
haha I didn’t mean “isn’t an option” in a bratty way – just not a route I am going to consider at this point. 🙂
Post # 8
I don’t think it’s a battle to go into. If you’re cool with having it at your house during the taco dinner, then do it then – that would be a fun atmosphere to have it!
Post # 9
i vote for having it at the reception.
Post # 10
I vote to make it look like a large taco and serve it at your taco dinner. I also really really want to be invited to a pre-wedding taco dinner. You’re awesome!
Post # 11
Thanks, all! – While i’m still annoyed by the blatant rejection of my *sweet* idea, its just cake. It’ll be fun which ever day we get to enjoy it.
Fiance (and his fam) are from New Mexico so I was going to have the cake be a big New Mexico – like a map – with the different things he loves about NM on it. So it’ll fit right in with Pre-Wedding Taco Party, er, Fiesta!
If I can handle another cake (we’ll already have 8 at the reception already) I’ll do it there for all to see. – Who am I to deny all our guests of viewing a big state cake.
Post # 12
I’ve never seem a groom’s cake anywhere but the reception. I’m from the South and I thought it was ALWAYS at the reception. I understand that you feel it will be overshadowed with the other cake but your relationship with your Mother-In-Law is much more important and long lasting.
This does not seem to be a huge deal-i would pick another battle.
Post # 13
I think it’s particularly weird that your Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t want it at the Rehearsal Dinner when it’s honoring her son AND her state. Strange. But probably still not worth the battle. I think it will fit right in at the taco dinner. Tacos and cake… who wouldn’t love that?
Post # 15
I’m betting Future Mother-In-Law already signed a contract for the rehearsal dinner that included desert, and having an additional cake wouldn’t fit into that. I also have never heard of a groom’s cake at the rehearsal dinner, so I’m betting that came out of left field for her.
Post # 16
@gibsonkk: I would have never asked and just brought the cake. She may be hosting it, but it is your wedding. If you want the cake there forget asking and just bring it.