(Closed) FMIL vetoed the groom’s cake… Now what?

posted 8 years ago in Family
  • poll: What to do with vetoed Groom's Cake from FMIL?
    Talk to her again, see if I can state my case and earn a spot at the RD : (10 votes)
    27 %
    Not worth the mini battle. Have it at your house, a day early : (24 votes)
    65 %
    Other: Explain below : (3 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3788 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I agree with you — really, she’s going to veto you bringing in a fun cake? But I voted not worth the battle because even though she’s being silly, it’s not worth arguing over a cake.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1927 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Why isn’t having it at the reception an option?  We had our grooms cake at the reception and it’s quite common.

    Post # 5
    Member
    234 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Hm, maybe she just doesn’t understand the tradition?  Does your Fiance really want a grooms cake?  Does she have a history of being strong willed and having things her own way, or is this kind of out of character for her?  I ask because if she’s usually difficult, and the groom’s cake isn’t really important to your Fiance, then I say pick you battles and drop it.  But if she’s usually a reasonable person and you get along well, she might have just never heard of a grooms cake, and dismissed it because she wants to take care of everything at the Rehearsal Dinner for you?  If so, then talk to her about it one more time, explain why you want it at the Rehearsal Dinner and what it means to you both, and maybe she’ll come around once she gets it.  If it doesn’t work, then I think having it at the Thrusday night dinner is perfect.

    Post # 6
    Member
    5786 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Why is having it at the reception not an option? I have eaten a grooms cake at the reception at several weddings.

    Post # 8
    Member
    831 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I don’t think it’s a battle to go into. If you’re cool with having it at your house during the taco dinner, then do it then – that would be a fun atmosphere to have it!

    Post # 9
    Member
    1580 posts
    Bumble bee

    i vote for having it at the reception.

    Post # 10
    Member
    5823 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I vote to make it look like a large taco and serve it at your taco dinner.  I also really really want to be invited to a pre-wedding taco dinner.  You’re awesome!

    Post # 12
    Member
    722 posts
    Busy bee

    I’ve never seem a groom’s cake anywhere but the reception. I’m from the South and I thought it was ALWAYS at the reception. I understand that you feel it will be overshadowed with the other cake but your relationship with your Mother-In-Law is much more important and long lasting.

    This does not seem to be a huge deal-i would pick another battle.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1927 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I think it’s particularly weird that your Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t want it at the Rehearsal Dinner when it’s honoring her son AND her state.  Strange.  But probably still not worth the battle. I think it will fit right in at the taco dinner.  Tacos and cake… who wouldn’t love that?

    Post # 14
    Member
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    What a cake hater!

    Post # 15
    Member
    187 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I’m betting Future Mother-In-Law already signed a contract for the rehearsal dinner that included desert, and having an additional cake wouldn’t fit into that.  I also have never heard of a groom’s cake at the rehearsal dinner, so I’m betting that came out of left field for her.

    Post # 16
    Member
    43 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @gibsonkk: I would have never asked and just brought the cake. She may be hosting it, but it is your wedding. If you want the cake there forget asking and just bring it.

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