(Closed) FMIL wants both daughters in wedding…

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Your Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t get to dictate who is and isn’t in your wedding. If you don’t want your FSIL’s to be bridesmaids then don’t have them. Could you have them do something else so that they feel included and it shuts your Future Mother-In-Law up? Maybe do a reading or hand out programs or something?

Post # 4
Member
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

just let her know what’s what. she doesn’t choose your bridal party… the BRIDE chooses the bridal party.

Post # 5
Member
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

If your Future Mother-In-Law is not contributing financially to the wedding, it’s really not her place to make demands. It is your wedding, and you should have only the people you truly want in your bridal party. 

You might be able to find another role for your FSILs just to appease Future Mother-In-Law. But at ages 19 and 22, if your FSILs really wanted to be involved in the wedding, they would probably have mentioned it to you themselves. 

Post # 7
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@DaisyCakes: You also don’t want to start off on the wrong foot with your in-laws, so I see your dilemma. On the other hand, you don’t want her to think she can push and get her way with you.
But honestly, would you want them at your bachelorette party, helping you pick dresses – all that fun stuff? You’ll regret it more if you have people who aren’t close to you involved in these activities. And I would think the sisters wouldn’t want to be picked just because their mom wanted them in the wedding. 

I agree with a PP – ask them to help with something else as nicely as you can and maybe joke about it – say you don’t want them to see you act like a Bridezilla (which I’m sure you aren’t) – you’d rather they enjoy their time as guests instead 😛 

Post # 8
Member
6830 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Okay this is going to sound harsh, and I apologize, but you do need to stand up for yourself. If you do not want those girls in your wedding then do not have them in your wedding. IT IS YOUR WEDDING, not your FMIL’s. She has no say who is bridail party you and you Fiance do. 

Post # 10
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@DaisyCakes: It’s really great that your Fiance is on your side and talking to his mom on this 🙂

Post # 11
Member
7387 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@DaisyCakes: your FH ROCKS! I love that he took the lead and dealt with his mom. Wow. You read so many threads on here were guys just roll over and leave their brides to deal with their demanding families. I’m impressed girl! High 5!

Post # 12
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

So awesome that he stood up for you. I’m glad you don’t have to have them in your wedding – it really is up to you, not your FMIL! Hopefully this incident is going to keep her from trying to dictate anything else so you can plan happily and stress free!

Post # 14
Member
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Maybe you can offer to make them readers? Or hand out programs?

Post # 16
Member
2981 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

That’s great that your Fiance stood up for you. I would hate to be in a situation where the approval of my inlaws went against what I truely wanted for myself, especially if cultural differences came into play. Kudos to him for explaining.

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