(Closed) FMIL wants names on invitations

posted 5 years ago in Family
  • poll: What would you do?
    Keep invitation as is : (71 votes)
    88 %
    Put parent names on back : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Redesign and put parent names on invitation : (9 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    46404 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Stick with my original plan. If she is being passive aggressive by saying to forget about it because the others are ok with it, I would take her at her word.


    Post # 4
    477 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @AugustBride2013:  Could you put ‘along with their parents’ or ‘along with their families’? Then it wouldn’t be so stuffy and you are still including them. I think if they are helping chip in then it would be nice to include them on the invites.

    Post # 5
    477 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @iadornyou:  Sorry, I just ready that you didn’t think she would be open to it – how did I miss that?? 🙂

    Post # 6
    3572 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I dislike when the parent’s names are on the invitations.  I like when the invitations say “together with our families” 

    I would stick to your guns.  The fact is you didn’t need to show her the invitation at all. 

    If she wants to make about the money, you could offer to put the names in font size order, based on who is contributing the most!!


    Post # 7
    2497 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @AugustBride2013:  Are you having wedding programs? If so, her name will be on there. I don’t like the idea of putting the parents’ names on the back of the invitation.

    Post # 8
    1018 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    If it were me, I would thank her for her suggestion, add the “together with their parents” line, and not share the final mock-up with her. Hopefully when she sees it later, she’ll have the tact not to say anything since she’ll know they have all been sent out already.

    Post # 9
    396 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I think this is a perfect time for “together with their families.”  It’s a perfect compromise – you don’t have to have tons of different names on the invite but she is included.  If she’s not willing to be happy with a compromise, then I would just not worry about it.

    You could present it in a very positive way – like oh you know you are right, everyone is contributing and I want to acknowledge your importance in our lives so we’re going to add together w/our families to the invite.

    Post # 10
    1877 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @AugustBride2013:  Stick with your original plan that you loved!  Don’t be pressured into changing it for other people, as it’s your wedding. Is your Future Mother-In-Law paying for the rehearsal dinner?  If so, maybe include her name on the rehearsal dinner invite instead. Also, you can list her name in the program at the wedding.  Finally, when you do toasts at the reception, you and your FH can mention her and thank her along with the other parents.  She will get more than enough recognition via other means. She does not need to be named on your invitation.



    Post # 11
    2390 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    This is why you don’t ask for people’s opinions on stuff that you’ve already got arranged.  Just do what you want and quit giving her an opportunity to chime in.

    Post # 12
    293 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Yeah I don’t plan on having no parents names on the invitations mainly because me and FH will be fitting the bill so we will just put “together with their family” . I would just leave the invitiation as is since it’s already designed

    Post # 13
    9648 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    I think stick with your original plan or put ‘together with their families’

    Post # 14
    9955 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Etiquette Snob here…

    Agree with the other Bees, this sounds like a perfect occasion for the

    “together with their families”

    (vs parents… families being even more inclusive)

    I think once she see’s the final product, her heart will soften… it will be a good compromise.

    Hope this helps,

    PS… Of course as the Design of the Invite is a gift from a friend… and you don’t want to appear rude towards him.  If you see making changes as a big imposition to your friend … then it would be ok to go forward with what you have (altho you might then find yourself in another head-butting situation where you have to explain it all again to your FMIL).  Future Mother-In-Law is family… so it is a tough trade off.



    Post # 16
    942 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @AugustBride2013:  tell her that you’re sorry but you’ve ordered them to be printed already; let her know that the ceremony program will have all the names included.

    The topic ‘FMIL wants names on invitations’ is closed to new replies.

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