Post # 1
I’ve been trying to not let this bother me. I’m FAR from a materialistic person but when I told both my mom and Future Mother-In-Law that I would like them to wear a gray dress of any shade to the wedding, both said that was fine, Future Mother-In-Law was excited and actually said “I can do gray!!”. Now Future Mother-In-Law is requesting to wear GAUCHO pants and a nice gray top to the wedding. I want her to be comfortable, and I know she has some selfesteem issues but you can’t tell me there isn’t a dress out there that would make her comfortable?
I think my biggest issue with this is I remember in high school when gaucho pants were “in”. I HATED them. I thought they looked so trashy(sorry if you wore/wear them). Our wedding isn’t extremely formal, but its far from casual. I feel its just a way for her to basically wear “sweat pants” to the wedding. I haven’t asked anything of Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law other than PLEASE wear a grey dress, any shade, any style as long as its not super casual, and for Future Father-In-Law to wear a gray suit to match the groomsmen and my dad.
Maybe it’ll look okay once I see everything together? Maybe there is a “nicer” style of gaucho pants that don’t look like sweat pants material?
Another thing that I’m worried about, is as much as I want her to be comfortable, she won’t be. Once she’s with my mom, who will be wearing a gray dress I know she’ll feel “underdressed”(she always does this). So its going to be a lose lose either way.
Its something so small, but I’m banging my head on my desk because of it! Probably because I know she’ll be uncomfortable either way, but I know if she wore a gray dress, as my mom is, she’d feel better because she’ll be “fitting in”.
Thanks for listening to the vent 🙁
Post # 2
OMG, I almost fell out of my chair when I read the title. So sorry you have to deal with this.
A two-piece outfit (skirt and top) might work better, especially if she has a weird body shape. I’m two sizes bigger on top than bottom, so I get it. If she really hates dresses/skirts, can you get her to wear black pants with a fancy gray top?
Sorry, but gaucho pants aren’t even close to wedding attire. I’d shoot for something in between if you can’t get the dress. Then again, if you get her to agree to something in between, maybe you can slowly nudge her toward getting a dress…
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB
I laughed really hard, I am sorry. I didn’t think they made those anymore.
Post # 4
I think it could look really nice. I’d give her a chance, especially if that’s what she feels the most comfortable in.
Post # 5
onthefritz: Are the gaucho pants short? Like, just past the knee? Yikes.
Try to approach her with her best interest in mind (as in, don’t say, “Don’t wear those because they look trashy”, just tell her that you think she may feel under dressed).
My mom wore wide-legged dress pants with a fancy matching top, and I think she looked elegant. Something pretty similar to this:
Could you suggest something like this to her? She may feel more comfortable in a ‘pant suit’ than a dress…
Post # 6
Gaucho pants are awful. Yikes. But I don’t think this is a battle worth fighting.
Post # 7
Am I the only one that thinks this could be nice if styled appropriately?
I don’t see the big deal. If she ends up feeling ridiculous or uncomfortable she will have been the one who picked her outfit.
Post # 8
TheGridMonster: That doesn’t look bad… but I’m talking Target gaucho pants. Maybe I can go shopping with her and find a higher quality pant?
MsGolightly: I do love the wide leg look! Not sure how she’d feel, but its worth suggesting.
I do think if its done “right” it could look nice. I’m just so much of a visual person that in my head I see highschool girls walking down the hallway with their ridiculous flowing pants.
Post # 9
Please don’t let something as miniscule as this stress you out. You have waaayyy more important things to direct your energy towards. Trying to micromanage your Future Mother-In-Law will only drive you crazy. Who cares if she’s unhappy later because she feels underdressed? She’s a grown woman and can make her own choices.
Let it go, let it go….
Post # 10
OP, if you want her to wear a specific dress, I would recommend offering her suggestions and also paying for it.
I don’t think guests clothing choices should be dictated down to the color of their clothes. Let people know the dress code, and that is really all you need to tell them. I think pp have provided good examples of gouchos looking very classy/elegant.
I wish I could wear pants like that. They look so chic and elegant on the models. They look ridiculous on me and my 5′ tall frame.
Post # 11
Consultette: Dovetail: I completely agree with her making her own choices, I just know after the wedding she’ll complain and complain… TO ME about it, so I’m trying to save myself some sanity. I’m really not focusing much time on it, but since it was recently brought up, it’s currently on my mind.
Post # 12
Ok, let’s just say she wears the pants, and you hate them….what is the worst thing that can come out of that? Every now and then you’ll look at photos with her in them (because the photos you put up in your house will likely be ones of just you and your husband), and cringe and think “yep, still hate those pants”.
Trust me, in the grand scheme of things, potentially hurting her feelings, or offending her is NOT worth it over a freaking pair of pants.
Let her be comfortable. If she looks ridiculous, that’s not a reflection on anyone but her.
Post # 13
My mom wore pants to my wedding. And my sister’s wedding. No one noticed or cared. She wore black pants very similar to MsGolightly: picture with a red top. She looked awesome!
But if she looks silly, it is all on her. Not you. Not worth stressing over! Plenty of women aren’t comfortable with wearing dresses, you can send her suggestions of what you like but at the end of the day, she is an adult and has been dressing herself longer than you have been alive.
Post # 14
At my parents’ wedding, my dad’s mom wore a peach-colored dress from my aunt’s wedding and in addition to not matching my mom’s colors (lavender and whatever else), it had a giant stain on it. Like, she didn’t even take it out of the bag until the morning of. So, I guess i’ll revise my previous opinion to say that it could be worse.
Post # 15
I have a feeling (or at least a hope) that she means pallazo pants (ie wide leg chiffon type pants that almost sort of look like a skirt) like that are in msgolightly’s pics above.
I think that can be a nice look (especially for someone who isn’t a formal dress person)
the other idea of black dress pants (slacks?) with a grey top is a good one too as you are much more likely to find a selection of dress pants in black