Post # 16
Alright, this is what I’ve decided. I just sent some pictures to FSIL(she’s the fashionista of the family) of the dresses my mom is looking at wearing(all the same style). This way she can help Future Mother-In-Law decide what she wants to wear and know in advance what my mom is wearing, hoping to make her more comfortable.
Thanks for the advice and suggestions ladies! I know its not as big of a deal as I’m making it, and it could be worse…
Post # 17
My Mother-In-Law has a physical disability that makes wearing dress shoes almost impossible, so she didn’t feel comfortable in a dress. She wore a nice top and and black wide-leg pants, and I don’t think anyone noticed that her shoes were technically black tennis shoes. The wide-leg pants also made it look more like she was wearing a skirt than pants in many of the pictures. My mom wore a dress. And you know what? They both looked great!
Let her wear pants if she would feel more comfortable in pants! I would try steering her towards some that are a little more formal, (the pant suit MsGolightly posted is awesome!), but there’s no reason she can’t wear pants and not be under-dressed.
Post # 18
Miss Apricot: Thank you! Yes, I agree fully that pants can look just as great. I’m not against a pants suit by any means. I think the fact that “gauchos” were the word she used is whats really throwing me off. If she had said “pant suit” or something along those lines I wouldn’t be having an issue… but GAUCHO!
Post # 19
I had to look up those pants because we used to call them “parachute pants”. (Anyone?) Anyway, I do like that nice wide leg pants suit that was posted, as well as your solution of involving your Future Sister-In-Law. She probably knows your FMIL’s fashion choices really well and can help her find something nice. Good thinking!
ETA: I guess parachute pants are something totally different now! I’m so old now. 🙁 That was in middle school though.
Post # 20
I think you have the right attitude. Take a kind approach, and remember in the end that her pants are NOT going to be what you remember most about your big day, hahaha!!! Can you imagine yourself, 30 years from now, thinking, “Boy, that sure was a nice wedding…. except that Jane Doe came in TARGET GAUCHO PANTS!!!” 🙂 🙂
Just laugh about it! Even if she insists, or shows up in actual sweatpants, everything will be just fine.
Post # 21
DonnaNoble: Haha thanks for the laugh! Very true though!
Post # 22
onthefritz: Honestly, do yourself a favor and let it go. What she wears won’t affect anything and it’s not polite to tell people what to wear in the first place (“grey dress”). Especially when dealing with in laws, the kindest thing to do for yourself is not worry about it. Good luck!
Post # 23
onthefritz: You seem to be reacting to a word, not to an acutal concept. Have you actually seen the pants she wants to wear? If not, I think you’re putting the cart before the horse. Just remove the word Gaucho and replace it with “wide leg” in your mind, since you react so strongly to the word. And see what she comes up with. I really don’t think it will be like sweat pants!
I think your idea of sending pictures of what your mother will be wearing to the Future Sister-In-Law is a great idea, but I would leave it at that. She’s an adult and responsible for her own attire. Don’t do things because you think you know how she will react better than she does.
Post # 24
I don’t mean this in a rude way but I don’t see what your Future Mother-In-Law wants to wear has to do with you
Post # 25
My ex Mother-In-Law wore black palazzo pants to my wedding. Who cares? They looked like a skirt anyway. Though she did wear flip flops with em. Lol. Let her wear what she feels comfortable in.
Post # 26
onthefritz: Sure thing, sister. I think wedding planning is so stressful, we latch on to things that seem important in the moment when they may not actually be super important in the long run. You have the right attitude – put it on your Future Sister-In-Law to handle, but not to the point of bad blood, and let the chips fall where they may. 🙂 This is a great problem to have if its the only issue you find yourself worrying about!! 🙂 🙂
Post # 27
I wouldn’t even worry about it. Trust me, on the day of the wedding you will not be in the least bit concerned about her pants. There will be so many other things going on! She won’t be in that many photos either.
Post # 28
I also hate gaucho pants, but hey, she’s an adult and I really think that she should be allowed to choose her own clothing. She knows the dress code for the wedding, she knows the color you want her to wear — I think that’s as far as it’s appropriate to go on this issue.
Who knows, she might end up looking great! And if she doesn’t, oh well, that’ll be on her.
Post # 29
As someone who only had one parent out of four attend our wedding (the other three are deceased), my fmil could have worn a pillowcase if she wanted to. i was just glad to have here there.
Post # 30
onthefritz: My mom hates wearing skirts/dresses so I’m having her wear black palazzo pants with a nice top to my wedding. http://www.dressbarn.com/detail/sheer-matte-palazzo-pants/100155968/10