(Closed) FMIL wants us to drink out of a bulls horn…we're vegan.

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 3
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Are they Chilean? If not, super random.

Either, just tell her that you aren’t doing it and that it’s. It isn’t up for discussion.

Post # 4
474 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@bretonvirgniia:  You may just need to keep insisting. Or perhaps you can find a fake, plastic horn? Honor the tradition as well as your beliefs? I would just play broken record.. no ma, sorry.  Still vegan mom, sorry. Dancers are great, I’m stillnot drinking out of a horn…etc.

Post # 5
1329 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Find a glass or plastic bull horn somewhere and use that.

Post # 7
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@bretonvirgniia:  what do you do to make your message clear? Tell her “no” again, and if she tries to push it on the day itself, ignore her.


It sounds like she has some serious boundary issues.

Post # 8
680 posts
Busy bee

Why do you have to run this by her at all? Tell her no, then stop talking about it. Day of, pick up a wine glass instead of the horn and toast. Nobody is going to slap the glass out of your hand that day. 

Post # 11
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@bretonvirgniia:  I don’t understand why you just don’t do it? Let her drink from the horn and you two use wine glasses.

Post # 12
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

If you’ll literally be forced to do it no matter what and there is no way out of it, tell her you’ll take care of getting the “bulls horn” (even if you aren’t able to find one) and then on the day of the wedding, whoops it seems to have been misplaced.

Post # 14
4778 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d just go to whoever is in charge of doing the toast the master of ceremony or the dancers themselves and tell them no.  Who brings the bull horns?  If your FMIL provides them, then I’d tell her that I’ll get up take the mic and tell them all about how heineous bull fighting is and all about your beliefs.  And I’d do it too casue there is no way in hell I’d be drinking from an actual bull horn.


Post # 15
2609 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@bretonvirgniia:  Tell her she needs to cancel the dancers.  Hiring them without consulting you was way, way, waaaaay out of line. 

If you don’t want to do that, then you need to tell her point blank that IF she wants the dancers there, there will be NO bull horns – for drinking or anything else – and that if she or they can’t agree to that condition, they can’t perform at your wedding.  If she responds that “its tradition” then you reply that the dancers are simply incompatible with your wedding and you hope she can get her deposit back when she cancels. 

Your FI should also have a quiet word with his mother about not springing any more surprises on you – for your wedding or anything else.

Your FMIL sounds very overbearing.  Establishing that you can’t be bulldozed now might just save you some pain later. 

Good luck.

Post # 16
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@bretonvirgniia:  Don’t do it. I would say if it was a gross-ness factor just use plastic fake bull horns but this is not the issue in your case. I would not comprimise my values for tradition. MANY wedding traditions are archaic and vile.




If you have to I would call the dance company and explain it to them- they will not want to offend a bride at their own wedding! And if all else fails- tell your venue and DJ/band- not to allow the show. 




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