(Closed) FMIL wearing black to the wedding

posted 12 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
958 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t think black at weddings is a faux pas anymore.  It’s a flattering, formal, common color in dresses!  Look at how many bmaids and guests wear it now. 

I wouldn’t read too much into it.  If she looks nice and is comfortable, that’s all that matters.

Post # 4
1174 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

While I have not seen any MOG’s wearing black before, I also would not think it looked bad if I saw it at a wedding. As long as it looks nice and you both like it, I think it’s fine.

Post # 5
3358 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I agree with Mermaid.  Black is very common.  A lot of women feel most comfortable in black.  I wouldn’t get upset over this, especially if you’re having an evening or formal wedding.

Post # 6
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

How fancy is your wedding? If it’s a more formal occassion I would say black is awesome.

However I told my mom (who loves black) that I would really appreciate it if she chose a different color as we are having an outdoor, daytime, slightly casual wedding.

I don’t know if its a faux pas, but I think its just a little I’m-in-mourning if its not appropriate for the level of formality/tone of the occassion. BUT, that is only my opinion.

If you don’t care then it should bother your aunt and momma.

Post # 7
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2009 - The 19th Century Club

I think it’s completely fine! I’m encourage my mom to wear a cute black dress/outfit if that’s what she likes. Our colors are black and white, so she’ll fit in quite nicely! Although, my aunt did mention to my mom that she shouldn’t wear black and my mom got a little concerned…but I assured her this was fine!

I definitely think these "rules" are changing as weddings with all kinds of themes/styles/decor are planned. If it’s a great dress that she looks and feels good in, I say give her the green light and make her feel great about the purchase. Letting her know that you like it and approve of it will also help if people make comments about it (I’d hope they wouldn’t, but you never know!)…if she knows you’re on board, she’ll be reassured!

Post # 8
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

No faux pas committed…..black is actually a trendy wedding color now. Especially if it’s an evening wedding!

Post # 9
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

unless your weddign is at like 1 pm and in a church, i think she’s fine.

Post # 10
596 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2021 - Oakland Manor

After a stupidly long (and not finished) hunt for a MOB dress I can honestly say that so many of them are champagne or black.  Why? I have no idea! My dress is champagne so my mom’s choice’s are now limited to 80% of dresses that are black and the 20% we can never find that look good and aren’t black.  uhg.

My mom is also concerned about the black, but I told her to wear brightly colored accessories and she’ll be fine.  I mean, assuming we ever fnd a dress for her!

Post # 11
3625 posts
Sugar bee

For Moms looking for something a little out of the ordinary,have them look at and try on some dresses by Cameron Blake by Mon Cheri. I had a terrible time trying to find something not too young or too frumpy. These dresses were really classic and beautifully constructed.

I actually wore black & white for my daughter’s wedding just last week. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten so many compliments!


Post # 12
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2007

I think it’s fine. It sounds as if your Future Mother-In-Law is very sweet and well-meaning. It also sounds as if you have a great relationship with her! I was also just at a wedding this weekend where the MOG wore black b/c it’s what she’s most comfortable in. She loves her new DIL and also didn’t mean any harm. I don’t think any of the guests took it that way either.

I say, since you and your Future Mother-In-Law have a good relationship, she was really excited to show you the dress, and you’re sure she doesn’t mean any harm, let her be comfortable! I like dorsay’s idea of the brightly colored accessories…or a very fun color for her shoes!

Post # 15
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

As others are saying, I think it’c ompletely fine. Black at weddings USED to be a faux pas in general, but not so much anymore. In fact, a growing trend to to have all the BMs in black dresses.

My mom’s walking me down the aisle, and she’s purchased a lovely black dress, accented with a white sash, and I’m very happy with her selection.

I’d just advise other family members who think this is a faux pas that it’s an outdated rule, and that your Future Mother-In-Law looks lovely in the dress, and you’re excited for her to wear it. Enthusiasm can easily rub off on people 🙂

Post # 16
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think black is just fine!! classic and beautiful!

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