(Closed) FMIL will not give it up

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’d tell her that if she wanted her there so badly, she’d have to pay for her. And then I would put her at the farthest away table possible. 

Post # 4
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

At this point, it sounds like she’s doing this to assert her dominance over the two of you.  Nip this in the bud ASAP.

Tell your Future Mother-In-Law and K that security will be posted at the door of the venue, and if K tries to show up, she will be immediately escorted out.

Post # 5
1414 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

This is hilarious. Not because of your frustration, but because of the colorful way you wrote it to us. I can totally see the momma whinning to the Fiance about this!


I think that Fiance needs to go to K and tell her that she can’t come and why. Maybe in some twist of fate, those two could bury the hatchet as a result. I think that if K were forced to deal with Fiance and he had the upper hand per se, she’d probably apologize to him and agree to act appropriately at the wedding. If he chooses to do this, he shouldn’t tell his mother that he’s doing it. Just go over there and do it.

Or, maybe do tell his mom that the ONLY way K will be invited is if K comes to him and apologizes for all her BS and promises to behave. Otherwise, like another poster said, security will show K to the door. 

Post # 6
1170 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I would tell Future Mother-In-Law sure K can come but since the venue is small that Future Mother-In-Law must stay home. See where that gets her. She has to make a choice. Her son or her friend. Im betting its gonna be her son and if its not then she really shouldnt come anyway.

Sorry if I sound snarky..good luck. My Future Mother-In-Law hates me but she keeps her mouth shut and hasnt injected one suggestion into my wedding cause she keeps hoping I will drop dead before the wedding takes place.


Post # 7
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think Fi needs to tell his mom that K is not invited and he is not listening to any more discussions on the topic.  Then if fmil calls or tries to talk to Fi about it he just says I will no longer discuss this matter.  He may have to say it over and over again until fmil gets it.  I would stand firm on the matter.  K is just going to bring more drama.

Post # 8
1092 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

No one should ever feel “bullied” into inviting someone to their wedding for what ever reason. If you don’t want K attending the wedding, end of story no matter what your Mother-In-Law wants.


Post # 9
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

If she’s not paying for the wedding, she doesn’t get a say.

Post # 10
1074 posts
Bumble bee

Maybe tell her a white lie and say that K can be on the B-list, so if you get enough no’s she can come? Since you know you’ve hit capacity it at least puts off her asking. Normally I wouldn’t encourage lying but people like this just get more and more worked up and out of hand until they feel like they’ve won and sometimes you just have to pacify them somehow. :/

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