(Closed) FMIL..Advice?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
5405 posts
Bee Keeper

Since you say she’s a great person, you should have great potential to build a relationship. 

Do you have any common interests? Do you have similar beliefs (ie don’t talk about politics if she is a republican and you’re a democrat, but if you have similar ideals you can always talk about current events, news stories, etc). Does she enjoy shopping–if you do, you could do some shopping together. 

I think it’s kind of like when making friends…you start slow with a casual relationship and lots of small talk, but eventually you get to know each other and develop a relationship. 4 months isn’t long so don’t worry!

Post # 5
5405 posts
Bee Keeper

@ambereyez:  Yeah I think that’s pretty normal. I am very talkative and I experienced that initially also. Maybe ask your Fiance if there is anything he could suggest to talk about since he knows you both. Otherwise, just give it some time!

ETA: people like to talk about themselves, so ask her some questions. You can also learn a lot from her life experiences. 

Post # 7
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@ambereyez:  This is often the case with my Mother-In-Law so I get how it can kind of make things weird.

Honestly, I talked to my Darling Husband.  I discovered that she really loves cookbooks and recipes (she isn’t that adventurous with food AT ALL, but likes to read about it).  I asked her about family recipes and actually started canning…making the family pickle recipe, etc.  That’s given us a fair amount to talk about…at least during the summer.  lol

It’s honestly easier, in the beginning, to have some tried and true convos that are as conflict-free as possible.  From that, things seem to just flow better and you can move on to the conflict fun stuff later.  lol  😀

Post # 8
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Is there something you could ask for her “help” on? Like is there a recipe she’s cooked that you like? You could always use something like that as a springboard for conversation. Like you could ask her about the recipe, if she has any special tricks to make it taste good, where does she find her recipes, etc. That would work with lots of things, like if she has a flower garden, ask her how she learned about flowers, etc. I’m guessing that you just need to get her to open up a bit more and then the conversation will be easier.

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