(Closed) FMIL/Rehearsal Issue – a long rant

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Wow. Well, it seems like she was a bit on the defensive there. She may have felt misplaced and having someone say that it wouldn’t work may have hurt her feelings. The only reason why I say so is because I went through something similar with my Mom, who was feeling left out in general (this sounds very similar).

The easiest thing would be to plan it yourselves, but I don’t think that would get at the underlying issue. I’d have Fiance call her an clarify what she means and if she still wants to help plan it. If so, just let her know what your needs are as far as the party is concerned, then listen to what she needs to get that done. You may need to kick in a bit, but I imagine it would be worth it.

Post # 4
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

That is an awkward situation.. I think it would have probably made more sense for her to plan a traditional rehearsal dinner if you were getting married somewhere near home.  But with a destination wedding like that a rehearsal isn’t really necessary.. the welcome party seems more logical.  Maybe she just feels overwhelmed planning what’s become a pretty large party… she may not have known exactly what kind of party you had in mind before she volunteered to take that task on. 

Maybe have her host a smaller “morning after brunch” (or something like that) for just some close family members?  It’s hard to say “thanks for offering, but that’s not gonna work” without hurting someone’s feelings.

Post # 5
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Sounds like she’s saying If that’s what you want, then do it, but I’m not paying for it. good luck, I have no idea what advice to give you!

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