(Closed) FMIL's fiance–what role does he play?

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 3
8176 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

if FI doesn’t want him to have a bouteniere don’t give him one.

he has only been in FI’s life for 4-5 years.  don’t make a big deal about it.


Post # 4
454 posts
Helper bee

If the guy were a child molester, criminal, or other potential risky match for mom then I could understand his potential angst. Outside of something like that, I’d say your FI needs to suck it up a bit, and understand that by just mildly acknowledging his mother’s fiance on the day does not denote any role his bio-father has played/will play in his life, or his father’s place in his life at all. You’re not asking the man to be an officiant, dance with your FI, or be acknowledged on the invitations. It’s a flower on the man’s chest, a couple of pictures that you don’t even have to buy/display, but would mean the world to his mom to have/display, etc. I think his mother would be extremely hurt by her son’s behavior here. He needs to think about it that way.

Post # 5
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

What does it hurt to give him a flower? It will make him feel good and just about everyone else as well.

For the pictures, your FI should talk to his mom and see how she feels about her FI being included. If she feels strongly about him being included than he should because that’s who she is going to be marrying. If it’s important to her that he is included but then you guys exclude him then it might make things a little awkward between the 4 of you. You can also include him in some of the photos but also have some without him…

Post # 6
1662 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think the call has to be by fiance, it is his parents.  I dont see why the FMIL could not get a picture with you two and her fiance.  I do not see a need for a boutineere.

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