(Closed) FMIL’s Let’s Hear it: Love, Hate, Just deal, and sorry if deceased ….

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I can’t stand my FMIL! She wrote my Fiance that he shouldn’t date me before she ever met me. She is a religious fanatic who lost her husband to cancer, so it’s understandable that she is having a hard time, but she won’t allow my Fiance to hold my hand in her prescence. She got upset when we posted a picture on facebook of me kissing him on the cheek and demanded we take it down. She’s wacko!

Post # 4
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

We don’t get along much…. From the beginning she’s told my Fiance that she didn’t agree with him picking me, She’s gossiped about me with my Future Sister-In-Law, and has TWICE brought up another girl that my Fiance had once showed intrest in (she brought this up just a couple of weeks ago).. and this is just skimming the surface

I’ve tried to be cordial and like her even.. even invited her to a weekly bible study at our house

BUT… it seems that no matter what I do her full approval of me has not been accomplished so for now it’s just dealing the best I can. =(

Post # 5
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Wow. I love my Future Mother-In-Law. She is so sweet. Never has a frown. BUT there is a small problem. Sometimes she asks him for money to pay her bills. I still love her though because man she is soooo sweet.

Post # 6
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Sucks for everyone not getting along with their Future Mother-In-Law.  Mine is a sweetheart that everyone takes advantage of (i.e. FBIL).  I love her and she genuinely cares for me.  I know she loves me much more than any of fiance’s former flames.  She packed me lunches when I visit her during the weekdays. =)  She’s an awesome cook and I hope to learn how to cook from her one of these days.

Post # 7
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

One of the best parts of my first marriage was my Mother-In-Law.  We remained close even after the divorce.

The vast majority of women end up as MILs at some point.  So there is as much variation among them as there is among women generally.

Post # 8
Member
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

Future Mother-In-Law is wonderful.  I’m definitely her favorite of all the girls my Boyfriend or Best Friend has dated, so she was THRILLED when we got back together after four and a half years.  She’s really laid back but also very quirky, and she’s a successful businesswoman as well as a mother of three.  I hope I’m as cool as she is when I’m her age!  Also, she paid for the BF’s trip to visit me in Japan, so I have to like her for that!

Post # 9
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

My Future Mother-In-Law is great! FH is an only child and I dont think he has any girl cousins so Future Mother-In-Law buys me tons of stuff for xmas ( i think she likes she has a girl to shop for!)  She is wicket sweet and nice and always gives FH money when we visit!

Post # 10
Member
2237 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I LOVE my Future Mother-In-Law…I think I get along better with her then I do with my actual mother.  She is so happy for FH and I and is willing to help  but not imposing.  I had sent her a text message asking her if she wanted to go dress shopping with me and my friends (my mother lives 500 miles away) and her response was “OMG of course!  You just tell me when and I’m there!”

Post # 11
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I live next door to my Future Mother-In-Law. 😉

She’s great, honestly. It’s kind of annoying because my fiance is over there a lot (I may see his parents once a week). BUT…

She has not offered any wedding help. She does live next door, where as my mom is 30 miles away. She thinks weddings are a waste of money, I’m suspecting, because she had a quickie courthouse wedding. She thinks we should put money in a savings account instead of throwing a wedding Since my fiance is his mother’s son, he sort of has the same mentality about it. But he wants to make me happy, so he’s on board. It makes me sad that I feel like I can’t discuss the wedding with her. As soon as she found out we were engaged she told us to “go away” and get married. Yeah…

But besides wedding business, we do get along pretty well.

Post # 12
Member
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I get along ok with Future Mother-In-Law but she can be really annoying sometimes. She is super controlling and wedding planning has been very stressful at times because of her. At the same time she is also very caring and generous – she is using her annual bonus to pay for almost our entire wedding! She is very happy for Fiance and I and I know that she cares about me. She can be kind of crazy sometimes though!

Post # 13
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I adore my Mother-In-Law.  She’s a smart, caring, driven individual who at first was pretty upset about our engagement, but a few months afterward apologized and told me it had nothing to do with me.

She picked out my wedding dress, cleaned up my cake tornado while I was making our wedding cake, she helped me plan and make decisions for the wedding, threw me a bridal shower AND hosted our rehearsal dinner (including driving the food here from her home 4 hours away).  Since the wedding she has helped us install our hardwood floors, came down to organize my kitchen, and most recently last weekend was here to organize my garage (I’m a creative person and can’t organize no matter how hard I try)….

She makes my life better.  She’s never had a negative thing to say about me and has always been encouraging.  She’s the kind of mother I hope that I am (except my kids will do the dishes…my husband never did chores and his 21-year-old sister still lives at home and has never done her own laundry or cooked her own meal)…

Out of all of my in-laws, she’s my favorite.  My father-in-law is a whole other story!  He drives me insane!!!

I have to say that I’m pretty lucky. I have an awesome family and so does my husband.  It’s makes the holidays a little stressful with all the travel, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.  One of the reasons I love my husband so much is because who he has become because of his family.

Post # 14
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Hmm.. that’s tough. Sounds like an Everybody Loves Raymond scenario almost. Since she’s so close she can be more involved in your lives which is good and bad. And our apartment was a total tornado as the wedding was approaching. We were never home or totally exhausted, it was also a really busy time at work for both of us. So no judgement here on the messy apartment! And we feel VERY lucky to have a dishwasher in NYC..

I do love my Mother-In-Law. We aren’t best friends, but we get along really well and both have the best intentions for Darling Husband which is what bonds us. I think we’re different, but we accept each others differences because we have the same values. Also, I probably only see her like 2 or 3 times a year since she is several states away..

Post # 15
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Mine is a very sweet and giving person!  I wouldn’t say we are “close,” despite seeing each other often, but she is very nice!

Post # 16
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My Future Mother-In-Law is a sweetheart but crazy.  She has 2 boys, 1 daughter in law that she doesn’t get a long with (because she’s crazy).  Then there is me.  She has always wanted a daughter, so she’s absolutely smothering me anymore. It’s driving me NUTS! She has a huge heart, but and i try to get a long with her because of Fiance, but i don’t know how much more i can take of it.  She’s overly nice to the point at times she come off fake, she has no backbone and never speaks her mind.  I’m the complete opposit my mom raised me to be strong and independent.  I do my best to get along with her but it’s defn. trying at times.  Plus she still sends Fiance messages (yesterday it was, I love you with all my heart baby) or hangs all over him when she see’s him.  I would like to say, BACK off lady he’s MINE!!

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