(Closed) Focus on the Family CEO Admits: “We’re Losing” on Gay Marriage

posted 11 years ago in LGBTQ
Post # 63
Member
962 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@2dBride:  As usual, WTG on this post and you took the words right out of my mouth.  Or fingers.  Whatever.

I also bristle at the “oh, you gays haven’t had it THAT BAD” type of thinking.  Tell that to my wife, who was beaten up almost EVERY DAY after school in her small home town in Iowa, just because she was an out lesbian.

Tell it to her, when she was RAPED by some redneck good ole boy trying to “make her like men”, and breaking several ribs in the process.  She was 15 years old.

Even here in my large city, there was a rash of beatings at a local lesbian bar a few years ago.  Some insecure group of men were hanging out inthe parking lot and waiting for women to leave the club, then beating them within an inch of their life.

Tell it to the thousands of homosexuals persecuted by the Nazis.

Tell it to those we can’t get back, like Matthew Shepard and all the others who have lost their lives SIMPLY for loving differently.

Furthermore, while the “slippery slope” argument is largely nonsense, who CARES if someone were allowed to have 3 wives or 2 husbands?  It doesn’t affect me or my marriage.  I don’t think anyone should get an unfair advantage with regard to taxes or other financial beneftis so aside from that issue, why would I care?  The idea that any type of marriage other than one-man-one-woman is somehow going ot lead to “increased divorce” is hilarious.  Because yeah, divorce rates are SO LOW right now and marriage is treated with SUCH respect, right?  Pfffft.

 

 

 

Post # 64
Member
962 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Oh and finally, as my bumper sticker says re: Focus on the Family:  “Focus on your own damned family!” Laughing

Post # 65
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@melynn44:  If you are in a non-legally recognized same-sex union and your partner gets sick, you can’t even visit them in the hospital if their family says that you can’t.  You can’t inherit their property, be included in their work benefits (many places), co-file taxes, have spousal rights upon death or divorce, etc.  Non-married gay life-partners that want to be married to their parnters are TOTALLY sitting in the back of the bus.

Post # 66
Member
3631 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

This isn’t a board I frequent, because it doesn’t apply to me, however I just wanted to make one comment, since this popped up in the “Most Recent Updates”

Yes, Focus on the Family has a traditional, Christian view and supports things with-in that view. But that is because that is the kind of organization they are. No one expects a LGBQT organization to be front runners and out-spoken for causes like making marriage legally only between one man and one woman, because that is not their view and stance. In the same way one cannot expect anything different from a Christian organization like Focus on the Family. If one doesn’t agree with them, just don’t support them, heck, fight against them if you so choose. But in the same way you believe you should have the right to act and believe as you wish, they are allowed that same privilege. 

I personally support the view that marriage should be a life-long, committed relationship between one man and one woman. But I also know many people don’t agree with me, that is their prerogative. It doesn’t change the fact that I believe differently. The joy of America is we can believe differently. So while I won’t be actively support any gay marriage acts (because I personally believe it to be wrong) I also have no stones to throw should it pass. And the fact remains, that where these bills have come to a vote, the majority of voters have voted against them in many places. That is how the democracy works, the majority gets the most decision power. As things look now, this may change in the future. And if it does, well then; happy legal weddings to you! 

Post # 67
Member
3631 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@Melini: Sorry, one last comment, while I totally get that it ISN’T the same as spouse rights, medical power of attorney and several other legal documents of that nature can fix some of these issues for anyone, straight,gay, lesbian, married or unmarried. And any legal Bee’s tell me if I’m wrong but I’m pretty sure a POA trumps a marriage anyway, as seen with some cases where there was no POA and the spouse and family fought over medical choices.

Post # 68
Member
2070 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I will first admit that I didn’t read every post, but still wanted to add.

I think Prop 8 (in California) as well as the national debate have caused people to speak up that wouldn’t have otherwise.  It’s now a common issue that comes up which is helpful to break down barriers.

I have always been supportive of all gay rights but I never really talked about it outside of my family.  Now I try to mention it frequently to my students (HS) because it’s very important to me.  I didn’t realize how important it was for me to speak up until Prop 8 passed in CA (prohibiting gay marriage).

My gay uncle proposed to his partner last year while I was engaged and I can’t wait to attend his legal wedding in CA!

Post # 69
Member
962 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@chasesgirl:  The point is, the exact legal rights and benefits cannot be “bought” or arranged and to create some reasonable facsimile of the rights and benefits of marraige costs a LOT MORE than the cost of a marriage license in legal fees and such.

Furthermore, individual rights of a MINORITY group should never be subjected to a public vote by the majority.  If that were the case in the past, do you think any progress would have ever been made in various civil rights fights?  In that set up, you democracy becomes the “tyranny of the majority” and simply mob rule.

Not agreeing with same sex marriage is fine.  Actively fighting AGAINST something that doesn’t affect you in any way, or in some cases voting against it, is what is immoral.

I don’t agree with certain religious groups who feel they must have a dozen children and subjugate the girl children as inferior and so forth… but you don’t see me out there trying to legally prevent them from conduciting their married and private lives as they see fit.

 

Post # 70
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I whole heartedly support the original poster and I hope that we soon see equal marriage for everyone, it is the direction the world is moving and it is only a matter of time before the US catches up!

However, there is one thing about many of these comments that irrates me, and that is lumping all Christian denominations together as being unaccepting and biagoted. There are many which are very accepting, where people who are LGBT can get married, and become ministers, pastors and priests.

I’m just saying, let’s not group everyone with religious beliefs together as being the problem!

Post # 71
Member
3631 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@MsInterpret: On the thing with other relgious views people don’t agree on… there are many cases of people being arrested for relgious practice. El Dorado (sp) Ranch in TX where the leader and many of the adults were arrested and their children taken for living what they considered their God-given right to marry and have children with multiple young girls. Or the family off Sister Wives who are facing court charges and one wife lost her job…for being married to a man with more than one wife. It happens to other people too, not just LGTBQ people. But no one rallies or has parades for the (who I personally believe) creepers who rape 14 year olds and brain wash them into thinking it is okay. But they think it is their right! So why don’t they have the same rights? 

On the legal stuff, not saying it is a GOOD option, but there is one. 

The point is, with our system that while the minority still has rights, it is ruled by the majority. Fair or not, that is what elections are, the people who get out a voice their opinion the loudest at a poll get what they want. Are there always som crazy loud fringers? Of course! But the thing is, things like Prop 8 pass either because the opposition just didn’t get out there and vote (which a semi-likely occurance since the supporters of equal marriage rights tend to be younger, and younger people tend to vote less) or that the majority of people didn’t want it. That is just how it works. It appears, yes, it was a minor majority, but all it takes is a majority. 

Post # 72
Member
962 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Just wanted to add;

This Florida woman and her partner had Power of Attorney.  Didn’t mattter.  Janice Langbehn’s partner, Lisa Marie Pond, died, and for 8 hours her partner and their children were NOT ALLOWED to see her, even after proof of power of attorney had been provided by Janice. 

The medical directives and power of attorney paperwork that this elderly gay couple who had been together 20 years diligently arranged did them NO GOOD when one partner ended up in the hospital:

http://www.bilerico.com/2010/04/sonoma_county_ca_separates_elderly_gay_couple_and.php

A good overview of how consulting a lawyer and having legal protections drawn up does not equal the rights and benefits of legal marriage:

https://www.hrc.org/issues/health/5478.htm

An excerpt from that page:

Some same-sex and transgender families consult attorneys to draw up legal documents such as powers of attorney, co-parenting agreements and wills, that will at least permit them to declare who they wish to make health care and financial decisions for them if they become incapacitated; how they wish to share parenting responsibilities or, in the event of a breakup, custody of a child; and what they want to happen to their property when they die. However, these are not a substitute for legal protection under law and cannot provide the broad range of benefits and protections provided by law.”

 

Wills are often contested by family members and they often WIN and take the house or assets of a surviving same sex spouse.  It happens all the time.

Post # 73
Member
962 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Not going to make a huge post about it but I don’t care who does what with regard to marriage and religious beliefs when the issue is between consenting adults.  And with regard to parenting and religion, again I don’t care what they do as long as it’s not abusive to a child.  Weird is not abusive.

Post # 74
Member
3631 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@MsInterpret: Again, this isnt a topic that affects me and so I had not researched it in any real depth. I stand corrected, I really do appreciate the info. And I think that is BS. If you have been with someone like that, no matter who they are and are legally their POA and such, it should work that way. Honestly, this has been enlightening and truthfully, though I may find it morally wrong, I do believe there should be some legal changes because family should be family, even if it isn’t “traditional” 

Post # 75
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Amaryllis:

“And to the people asking why Christians think others who are not Christian should live by their beliefs, my experience (with an evangelical Pentecostal church) is that they believe everyone should be Christian anyway. They are trying to convert/save everyone anyway so others not sharing their beliefs doesn’t matter since they think everyone should.

Though I do think maybe this isn’t the place for the eye rolling comments to people who do believe that. Even if you don’t, it’s not going to encourage anyone else to be less hypocritical if you aren’t yourself.”

I totally agree with this.

I also think that many Christians support gay marriage because Christianity involves free will, or at least that is my take on it. 🙂

Post # 76
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@chasesgirl:  You do not get all of the same rights with POA, and it is difficult to set up.  I was in an opposite sex CA registered domestic partnership.  It is from my personal experience seeing what friends who were set up similarly had to go through upon the death of one of them that my partner and I decided to make it “fully legal”.  I’m glad we had the choice.

When you are married property under a certain dollar value automatically transfers to you without probate.

When you are not legally married you have no right to social security benefits of your partner.  If your partner is not a citizen, you have not special status to sponsor them.

I could not put my partner on my insurance at work.  No that he’s my husband, there’s no problem.

When marriage isn’t legal for ANYONE of the same sex, you will always have to provide paperwork/proof that you have legal POA in medical and financial situations where most married opposite sex partners are never even questioned.  (My mom has POA for my dying great uncle right now, and she’s having such a hard time just paying his bills.

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