(Closed) Follow Up: "How Did You Handle It When"

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1186 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’d be glad not to have to spend time with such weird people!

Post # 4
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Wow…that is just insanity! Although I can see DH’s crazy father pulling something like this. The other day I commented to a coworker, but in front of a customer, on how I have trouble remembering the sales tax where I work because it’s an easier even number where I live (6% in Michigan, 6.75 just down the road in Ohio). The customer told me just wait and that the sales taxes will go up now because of Obama winning. I pointed out that it didn’t go up in the last 4 years he was president, so I wasn’t really sure what that had to do with anything. Oh man, wrong thing to say – the dude flipped out!

At least they told you no up front though. For my story, I had some of DH’s relatives who decided on the day of that they didn’t feel like coming, and later apologized to his mom for not showing up after RSVPing and explained they felt like taking a nap instead.

Post # 6
Member
1186 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Michiganders only!

Post # 7
Member
8435 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I think this is awfully judegmental of you. They declined politely and unfortunately you and your family pushed the issue. They were obviously trying to spare you the real reason knowing your poltical views but then your family just had to pushed it.

Basically they get to decide how they live their lives and you get to decide how to live yours. You don’t have to agree with it (like they don’t have to agree with you) but you should respect their right to live their lives how they wish.

 

 

Post # 9
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Do they have to travel? One of my (very reasonable, level-headed) friends has serious reason to believe her company is going to shut down on January 1 due to the election outcome and impact it will have on their industry. I can see her declining to travel to a wedding in that month since things are so unstable in her world.

She would just RSVP no initially, but yeah – if someone pushed it, she would tell them. Your mom and grandma were wrong to have pushed the issue. 

On the other post, you also said they are no longer coming for Thanksgiving. This sounds less like a “haha, we’re going to rub it in her face that this was political and because of HER candidate” and more of a family member being seriously concerned about their financial condition.
 

Post # 11
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@mchitt329:  Your family didn’t just ask out of concern. They told them that they needed to call you and explain because you were upset. That’s pretty pushy to me. Sounds like a guilt trip.

Driving ain’t cheap. How far away are they coming from? How many people in the family?

And yes, I agree – you’re probably not going to figure anything out. The bottom line to me is that people have the right to RSVP no for any reason, and if you push the issue, be prepared not to like what you hear. I’m sorry your whole family isn’t able to attend your wedding. And I’m also sorry for them that they’re in a place where, real or imagined, they must feel like they are really going to be struggling. Canceling on Thanksgiving really is an indicator of that to me. I think it’s about THEM, not about YOU.

Post # 12
Member
2961 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You know I have voted in several presidential elections and I have never seen the craziness like I have after this one. Hey my candidate didn’t win (Gary Johnson) but I haven’t fled the country or stopped socializing or doing business with folks who voted differently. If you have relatives unwilling to attend your wedding because of how you voted, all I can say is I am really sorry for you. I know darn well my FH and my Future In-Laws all voted differently than me but no one has threatened not to come to the wedding. Personally I would say tell them “it’s your loss, sorry you are so narrow-minded that you let political differences dictate your personal lives” but hey, I tend to be blunt like that. So really I have no advice, but you do have my sympathies!

Post # 13
Member
1868 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m sorry but these family members sound crazy. Who doesn’t go to a wedding just because the bride or groom have different political views than them? What a shame. This country is going to go down the drain solely because some people refuse to come together with the other side but would rather act like sore losers who want to flee the country. So ridiculous. 

Your wedding will be great without these people and whoever else decides not to come for the same bogus reason. Pay them no attention and just enjoy your very special day. You don’t need them to have a great time at your wedding. 

Post # 14
Member
4659 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

They’re not even flying? Ugh. They’re just being spoilsports, ignore it. I know it hurts but you can’t let them feel like they’ve gotten to you.

Post # 15
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

If I were, you I would politely accept their reason for not coming to the wedding but than I’d be all “WTF?”  I guess there’s nothing more to do now than just accept their wacky reason and get over it.

Post # 16
Member
8435 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@mchitt329:  Because you made a post about it on the internet hoping others would agree with how crazy you thought they were being! If you weren’t judging you would have just accepted their decline and moved on.

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