Follow up: How to bring up wanting to reset your engagement ring

posted 9 months ago in Rings
Post # 61
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

Asking him to pay for half of the reset is a bit audacious, I don’t really have advice for that. As far as bringing up your feelings about the current setting, you don’t have to make it into a big issue. Just “hey, so I know I told you that I liked halo rings, but I didn’t try them on before and now that I’m wearing it, it doesn’t really suit me. Do you mind if I reset the gorgeous diamond you picked out for me into a simpler setting?”

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Daisy_Mae :  That’s a good point too, lol.

Post # 62
Member
1090 posts
Bumble bee

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embarrassedbeebabe :  Admitting to your fiancé you don’t love the ring you picked out, after he made a substantial purchase, is probably going to irritate him, and rightfully so. Asking him to pay for half of a new setting adds insult to injury. But what’s most insulting is your sense of entitlement. 

Post # 63
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

OP has turned this into such a shit show. Its really not that hard. Explain that you might want to reset it into a siple solitaire becasue it will be easier to find and wear a wedding band with it, and you love the idea of a traditional marriage set. Trade in the halo setting towards a solitaire and foot the bill for the new setting. If he balks at all, drop it. If he seems ok with it, proceed. IF he offers to pay for it, great. If not, its on you to pay for it. I know my husband would be ok with this. Only you know if your husband will be ok with it. If you dont have any inkling of how he will react, its too soon to get engaged <shaking my head>  Quite frankly, you do not sound mature enough to take on something tough like marriage. Yes, I adore my husband and love being married BUT it is hard word and requires a lot of communication, give and take, and sometimes (shocker) putting aside your immediate wants for the good of the marriage. Only you know how much give and take you can handle. 

Post # 65
Member
1173 posts
Bumble bee

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thebeezkneez :  🤦🏻‍♀️ I’ll never understand people that post on the internet to just get validation instead of listening to the advice their given lol. 

Post # 66
Member
6885 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

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thebeezkneez :  I am sure she will reply on that board, as she is getting the validation she wanted there. 

Post # 67
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

wrote this several weeks ago and then didn’t post as it perhaps sounds harsh. but, i’ve given up on you and your ring and your finger….

 OMG, all this over the size of your finger and the setting not providing enough coverage for you.  Your guy bought you what you said you wanted and, hopefully, what he wanted you to have based on your “dream ring” and what he could afford.  All this fuss over coverage and size.  How petty.  ok, i’m old.  do you remember your grandmother’s and possibly your mother’s engagement rings (if they received them), as being SMALL.  Yep, that’s what could be afforded.  It meant a lot.  It was full of love.  The diamond and/or the setting didn’t cover much finger, but it did what it was supposed to do-pledge one person’s love to the other.  I don’t think many women back in the day, spent much time or energy thinking about the look of the ring on their hand.  Not so much narcissism.  Get over yourself and be happy you found a guy who loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you (until, maybe, he realizes you’re more about the look than the love).  So tired of all the fol de rol.

Post # 68
Member
698 posts
Busy bee

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cherie2u :  I completely agree with you.

I’d so very gladly trade my perfect ring in for a man who was willing to work with me, stay with me, communicate with me, be honest with me, appreciate me, and commit to building a life WITH me. ❤️

Post # 69
Member
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

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embarrassedbeebabe :  Paying half of the original ring is a big gesture in your situation. Asking him to pay for a gift he isn’t selecting to give you but that you are requesting is insulting. It isn’t a big gesture to pay for what you want. I understand that you are a student, he makes more, etc., but he gave you the engagement ring you asked for. You changing your mind shouldn’t be his burden to bear. 

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