Post # 1
So my original post has been flagged due to how heated it has become. I just wanted to write a post to give some suggestions to some of the bees who wrote things like “that poem sucks and is immature”. It’s fine to give your opinions but I think tact is a very important people skill to have. In the future, consider wording things in this format:
“I see your logic, but personally ___________”. Maybe instead you could __________”
instead of, “that is so bad and immature. I would give you less money. You can’t rhyme to save your life”
this is actually kind of funny to me because I am imagining that if some of your responses were given in real life, they would not be received very well. I have to assume responses would not be so harsh in person, and maybe because this is anonymous you felt more comfortable. If this is your style, you probably don’t have many friends or people who feel comfortable asking you for advice (for fear of getting attacked and receiving no constructive advice). I just read this ovwe twice because it has been written on my iPhone and I worry about getting told off if there are mistakes.
Thank you so much to the bees who provided tactful suggestions and opinions. Very helpful:)
Post # 3
I for one, was quite taken aback at that thread too.
And don’t worry– the women who acted like childish little jerks do that to pretty much everyone. I keep a running tab of the Queen Bs on this website! They never seem to fail to amaze me with their condescending attitude!
**I still stand behind my original post in the previous thread. I liked the poem, I thought it was cute and you should have it on your wedding website. (This is a comment coming from a published writer, too!)
Post # 5
Try not to take it personally, OP. There are some clueless, bitter Betties on this site. At some point you just have to laugh.
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
No kidding. I am soooo sick of a certain few who think that “my First Amendment right” = “I can be a major bee-atch with no tact or grace whenever I want!”
Being nice, people. Is it that hard?
That said, this may be the least snarky place on the Internet – a good 95% of the interactions are gracious, helpful, and supportive.
Post # 7
I think people on the bee can be a bit too sensitive but that thread got pretty nasty for no good reason.
@Mint2Bee: love honeyfunds and think they are great and easy to use. I’m not a fan of the poem though. I’m totally crap at writing poems but found this one I thought was pretty cute.
We really hope you can join us
on our special day
You’ll make all our memories complete
in every single way
We do not have a gift list
and we know you’ll understand
Our house and contents are complete
with pots and plates and pans
But should you really want to give
and celebrate this way
a gift of money would be great
for a rainy day
Post # 8
Isn’t calling more vocal Bees “Queen Bees” on a “be nice” thread counter-intuitive?
Post # 9
@Mint2Bee: i really can’t understand why honeyfunds are so controversial. i compare it to someone giving a gift voucher for an activity for someone – if one asks for a dinner or activity gift voucher as a bday/christmas/anything present, is that them saying “give me cash”?! i don’t get the logic!
Post # 10
@FauxBoho: So I was one of the “Honeyfunds are of the devil” posters on the other thread…
But your poem is SO AMAZING I ALMOST CHANGED MY MIND! I am DYING with love for it! I think it’s funny and cute!
Post # 11
I didn’t get involved in the other thread because well yeah.
However, I don’t think there is anything wrong with putting your honeyfund information on the website, I personally would just rather see the link in there than a poem or anything else. My reasoning is that when you start to get into “here’s the kind of gifts we don’t want” it starts to seem kind of entitled to me. It doesn’t sound at all like you actually have this attitude, that’s just my impression of those types of poems.
I would just put the link under a registry tab and call it a day.
Post # 12
If you had showed me that poem in real life, I would have said this:
“I do not like it. I don’t like cutesy poems that hide what you’re doing, which is asking for money. Instead, I think you should be more direct.” If other people were insisting that it was “cute,” I would say, “It is not cute, and it is a pretty bad poem.”
So yes, I may have not just said, “That sucks” to your face, but you can’t just get upset that people don’t like something. If you don’t want honest opinions, don’t ask for opinions at all. I would hope that this board could be a place where people can get honest opinions. If a dress doesn’t look good on someone, people should tell the person. If wedding invitations have grammatical mistakes, someone should tell the person. If people are insisting on things that will make their guests uncomfortable, someone should tell them. Et cetera.
Post # 13
Also, doesn’t honeyfund take a cut of whatever your friends and family donate?
Post # 14
@BrandNewBride: True, you were one of the people who didn’t like the poem in the previous thread, but you simply offered your opinion. You didn’t go out of your way to insult the OP like some of the Queen Bees did. There was absolutely no reason for some of those women to act like that.
And that’s truly the difference. This forum is about sharing ideas and opinions. I don’t see how it is particularly helpful to insert attitude with insults when responding to someone’s question!!!
Post # 15
Good grief. I just read your other thread. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with putting whatever on your wedding site. That’s generally accepted as OK. Some people don’t like the “asking for money” bit, but you could probably phrase it as gifting us honeymoon adventures or somesuch to get around that.
I hate to make the cliched “everyone’s on the rag” joke here, but sometimes I just can’t believe how seriously out of hand some threads get for seemingly no reason. Opinions are one thing, and if people don’t like that they are certainly entitled to that opinion, but as far as etiquette goes, I don’t see much difference between saying “We’re registered at Macys!!!” and “We don’t need household items, but we are registered at Honeyfund (or whatever)!”
It’d be one thing if you were asking for a minimum donation or thinking of putting your poem on the invitation proper! Sorry you had to deal with that, and I can understand you being a little upset. If you want help with your poem, PM me. (I have two years of experience as an editor at an advertising agency.)
Post # 16
I just read the original thread. And, such nastiness 🙁 I think your saying was cute and I would put it on my website!