Post # 1
Do you have to wait until your RSVP by date to call/email your guests to see if they are coming?
I guess I should rephrase.. My RSVP date is Saturday and I still dont know if my three half siblings are coming.. which is kinda crazy to me. They all live nearby… and have had their invites for over 3 weeks and I have NO clue if they are coming!!! These are my dad’s children with his first wife. My dad has recently had some really serious health problems this week so we have been in contact about that and I want to just flat out ask them if they are coming or not. They haven’t even alluded to them coming or not so its not like I can just assume… They also all have children and I know they haven been complaining about the “no children permitted” behind my back but yet theyve never talked to me about any of it.
Would it be crazy if I just sent them an email? (its how we’ve been conversing about my dad so its not like I’m avoiding calling them on the issue.. its how we all primarily keep in touch.)
Post # 3
I sent a reminder to all outstanding rsvp-ers one week before my RSVP deadline – just said “hey, just a reminder you guys have one week til the deadline! can’t wait to see you!”
And then I also sent an email/txt on the morning of the RSVP deadline saying “the deadline is today and we haven’t received your RSVP. please respond to this email or give me a call to let us know if you are going to be able to attend, and if so, what your meal selection is!”
our deadline was yesterday – and there were 14 people outstanding… after the email/text bomb, we are only waiting on ONE!
Post # 4
since the deadline for responding is so close, if you want to just gently remind them you could send them an email and say something like “hey, i hope you are enjoying the end of summer. just wanted to check in with you to see if you received my wedding invitation and whether you think you’d be able to make it. i would love to have you there!”
or, just wait until saturday and send the same email. 🙂
Post # 5
I’m doing everything I know possible.. After my invites being out for 2 weeks we only have 10 responses. I’ve already gotten on FB and begged for people to send them in… I mean c’mon, they already have postage. It isn’t that HARD!
Post # 6
We sent ours out on 7/6. People had 1.5 months to get them back to us and still needed to be reminded. I was amazed at how 13 out of 14 people gave me a txt back in a matter of hours indicating Yes/No and meal selection…. made me upset that we spent so much money on the postage and invitations if they can’t even get them into a mailbox!
Post # 7
I had a lot of people assume we knew they were coming (immediate family in particular). I guess we were also supposed to assume their meal choice?
I think the best way to handle it is to approach it as “I just want to make sure you got the invitation and it wasn’t lost in the mail…”. That’s not confrontational, you’re not assigning blame, and you can give them an “out” in case they don’t want to accept fault.
ETA: If you’re not pushing any deadlines in the near future with vendors, I would wait until Saturday to send an email. Otherwise it could seem pushy. On the date you have a reason to call.
Post # 8
I would probably wait till my deadline, and then feel free to follow-up as much as necessary!
Post # 9
Yeah our RSVP due date was today and we still have some outstanding responses oh like his Grandparents and his Aunt and Uncle. His Grandparents are not a given since we are unsure if they are going to be traveling back to AZ before our wedding (they spend the summer staying at his Aunt’s house(the one who hasn’t RSVP’d yet)). His Aunt and Uncle we are not sure why they haven’t RSVP’d yet and they live in the next town over. We are going to see them on labor day and if we haven’t heard anything I am going to ask them if they are coming. It is just frustrating.
Post # 10
I would wait until the deadline. My Future Mother-In-Law is planning a shower and asked me to ask my BMs if they were coming two weeks before the RSVP deadline and it seriously annoyed me not to mention my BMs. For the wedding RSVPs, I plan on waiting about 4 days after the RSVP deadline to start calling, just because people tend to put their RSVP in the mail on the RSVP deadline date so that gives plenty of time for them to come back to me.
Post # 11
well i went ahead and just reminded my SIL about the sat deadline and she said i should count them in but dont be surprised if they cant make it/dont show up. WHAT THE HECK IS THAT? UGHHHHH
Post # 12
you should let them know that they shouldnt be suprised if there is no place card with thier name on it…
Post # 13
My deadline is also Saturday and I started following up with people yesterday. I didn’t have a ton, but I am glad that I did because I found 2 people who said that they sent it in (ahem, whatever if they aren’t telling the truth). There were a few friends of my parents that I alerted them to and asked them to start giving the calls. My caterer deadline isnt until 2 weeks before, but MY deadline is on Sat. They don’t need to know what the real deadline is. We sent STD’s, so I figured that if people would know if they are coming by now.
Post # 14
@snake: I know how you feel. I also had several people RSVP back with “?” or “maybe” or “probably” or “We’ll try”. I called these people up and told them that I needed to give a final number to the chef for meals and so I needed a definite “yes” or “no”. Most of them then came back with an answer. But I had one that still came back “We just don’t know. Order an extra meal and we’ll hope we can make it.”
I honestly didn’t know what to do. Entrees were $500 / couple, so I didn’t want to order “extra” and they kept delaying their decision right up until my headcount was due to the caterer. I finally asked “are you more likely to come or not?”, they told me they were likely to come (the week of the wedding), so I added them to the headcount. Of course, they didn’t show up. After the wedding they said that it was due to “gas money” (I would have fronted them the $3 if they asked).
I guess my point is 1) that I feel for you and 2) that people that come back wishy-washy don’t want to come and are just looking for a good excuse to miss your wedding. The fact that they’re not willing to make a commitment really is just a signal that they haven’t come up with a good enough reason to say “no”.