Food Allergy and attending friends wedding – Need input from other brides

posted 8 months ago in Reception
Post # 2
Member
4541 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

If she’s a good friend, I don’t see the problem with asking her about it. I wouldn’t demand a meal, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask if your allergen will be present in everything and if you should make your own arrangements. 

Post # 3
Member
3704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

If shes a good friend I would just ask her.

Post # 4
Member
4239 posts
Honey bee

sweatergal007 :  I would mention your allergy to her again and offer to call the vendor for her so you don’t make more work for her to do. She’ll likely tell you she’ll handle it and in that case you’re all set. No matter what I would quietly double check with the server on the day of the meal to be sure they know you are the one that needs a separate meal. I have a family member that brings food to my house even though I follow all of his food preferences (he doesn’t have a medical allergy) and it drives.me.friggen.batty. To the point that I’ve stopped hosting them in my home (I always suggest we go to restaurants now). As a hostess nothing feels like more of a slap to the face than seeing outside food because it signals to me that you don’t think I’m capable of providing you with something that is safe and enjoyable for you. 

Post # 5
Member
502 posts
Busy bee

sweatergal007 :  I would never be upset if a friend called me to ask for more information on the food because they had a food allergy. I do not have a food allergy, fwiw. Offer to contact the caterer directly, but ask her if that would be okay (in the context of asking for the contact info). If she wants to handle it, great! If not, she’s aware and knows that you are trying to do what’s best – protect yourself (obvs!) but also not add to her stress/workload. If no one can give you a straight, clear answer, I’d pack snacks. 

 

I wouldn’t worry about offending anyone. You are protecting your own health. 

Post # 6
Member
7067 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I wouldn’t have a problem with a friend reminding me of a food alllergy. I’d just ask her about the menu and remind her of your food allergy.

Post # 7
Member
502 posts
Busy bee

sweatergal007 :  Oh – and, for our wedding, we had a couple vegetarian guests. Obviously way less stress than a food allergy, but I did have the caterer specifically set out and label what was vegetarian and not, and we ordered a small vegetarian entree just for them. It really wasn’t that much more work than a short phone call. I would hope that your friend would be looking out for you and willing to at least label what is safe and what is not. 

Post # 8
Member
346 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

What about reminding your friend of your allergies and asking if she would be okay with you calling the venue/caterer to find out about which options are safe for you? If she already has it handled, she can just give you an answer, and if not, you’re not asking her to fix it, just making it not weird if the venue mentions a guest called.

I have a mild food allergy where if I ate contaminated food I’d throw up and need to leave the event early, but it wouldn’t be life-threatening. I once went to an awards banquet that served food I wasn’t sure was safe. The server made a big deal out of having to call the manager for permission to get the ingredients list and generally made it a really unpleasant and embarrassing experience, so I would avoid option 3 if at all possible.

Post # 9
Member
3444 posts
Sugar bee

I have an acquaintance who I know has SEVERE celiac disease (not sure if there are degrees of it, I just know he missed almost a year of work where he thought he was dying until they figured out what was up). Anyhoo, had I invited him to our wedding, I would have expected him to reach out to me about the menu. I would have told him what was on the menu, but then also had him speak directly with the caterer to find out if he can be accomodated to his comfort level based on what is available on the menu or without extraordinary efforts. In the end, I suspect he would have brought his own food just to be safe, which I would have had no problem with.

Post # 10
Member
7988 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would probably call the friend and tell her you’d like to call the venue yourself just to make sure of the ingredients etc. If she gets huffy about it (which seems ridiculous) then I’d just bring my own food.

Post # 13
Member
3444 posts
Sugar bee

sweatergal007 :  He wasn’t invited;) Not because of celiac disease – we just weren’t that close.

Post # 15
Member
8170 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

call now and tell her.  don’t wait until last minute. 

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