(Closed) Food at someone else’s wedding

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Considering that you have dietary restrictions because of health issues, I think it would be fine if you brought some of your own little meals.  Just try to keep them on the DL and don’t bust them out in front of all the other guests.

Post # 4
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I agree. Bring your food just be discreet about it. & you should prob let the couple know you will be doing this (in a nice, we dont mind sort of way)

Post # 5
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

You can def bring some food!  If you guys are feeling this way I am sure other people are as well!  They shouldn’t be offended if you bring more food, they have to understand that not everyone likes the same drinks, and food..Not to mention the dietary restictions!  I think you should be fine!  I would let them know you will be bringing food, they can’t possibly have a problem with it!  That would just be selfish on their part!

Post # 6
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

That’s very inconsiderate of them. Unbelievably, really, since you’ll be in a cabin where you won’t be able to have easy access to other food options. It really seems like if you don’t bring along your own food, you will be spending the weekend starving to death. I’d be pissed off, but it sounds like you’re reacting very calmly and maturely, so props to you. Bring whatever you like and don’t feel guilty about if people see you eating it. A host who fails to provide anything their guests are capable of eating is more than rude, it’s cruel.

Post # 7
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I agree with what the ppl have said: considering that you have special dietary restrictions, it’s perfectly okay just be sure to be discreet.

Post # 8
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

Absolutely bring food.  It is totally inconsiderate of them to have nothing there for vegetarians.  Rude.  But I second the ‘discreet’ suggestions above, just because they are rude doesn’t mean you have to be *sigh* it can be a bitch being polite. 

However I would not bring the tea unless the couple is okay with it.  If I made a decision about what is served at my wedding and had to stand my ground against other people’s criticism to then have my bridal party circumvent my decision and undermine it by brining a drink I didn’t okay and already told people wasn’t going to be there would upset me.  That’s only if it isn’t a potluck or something where they’ve asked you to bring tea etc.  But seriously, not having the drink some people prefer at the wedding is not a big deal. 

Post # 9
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Seems really strange that they would not care about anyone other than their carnivore guests. Have you talked to their parents at all since it’s obviously not getting through to the couple? The same goes for the tea. Unless the couple has asked you to bring it to the reception, leave it at home and drink water if that is all they have you can drink. Honestly, I would feel more comfortable eating before attending than to bring in my own food. But I would bring snack type stuff to the cabin to tide you over when non-wedding events are taking place.

Post # 10
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Ugh.  I’m sorry… that really sucks, and it sounds like they’re not really thinking of their guests.  Still, it IS their wedding, so I agree with others in saying that you should definitely bring your own food, but be discreet about eating it. 

I feel kind of bad b/c we’re having our rehearsal dinner at a BBQ place, and we do have several vegetarians in the group.  (But we have plenty of other picky eaters of a variety of types as well, so this was actually the best decision for us in the end.)  We did check with the BBQ restaurant about veggie options, so we know that the vegetarians will be served veggie burgers, plus all of the sides are veggie (potato salad, beans, coleslaw), so hopefully that is sufficient. 

Post # 11
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I think it’s fine to bring in some food for yourself to eat discreetly after the catered events, but i don’t think it’s OK to bring gallons of a drink to serve to yourself and other people.

Post # 12
Member
637 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I actually agree with Littlest Bird — I don’t even see the need/point of being discreet (except that other people may want to eat YOUR food!!).  Even if it was some other family or hosted event and someone had to eat something that they brought from home for health reasons, I would not feel offended at that — if anything I would feel EMBARRASSED for not thinking of their needs when I was making these plans.  In their case, it seems like they don’t really care about your needs, so the embarrassment thing isn’t a concern, so go crazy!  

Do whatever you need to do to be comfortable and not die of hunger or thirst while you are holed up in the middle of nowhere!

Post # 13
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

People who have hosted me at weddings have nearly always been considerate of me being a vegetarian, especially if I am IN the wedding.  This is really lame of them (and a mite bit tacky), so go ahead and bring your own food!  -It’s not any tackier than what they’re doing.  I think there should ALWAYS be a vegetarian option for whatever reason.  Many of our carnivorous guests chose the veg. option.  We also offered vegan cupcakes.

Post # 14
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

When you say “for health reasons” do you mean that you have a medical condition that requires you to eat specific foods or are you doing so to watch your weight or “be healthier” overall?

Post # 15
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Trying to get along for the whole weekend on corn, and not being able to drink any of the available choices, for an entire weekend would definitely not be good for you!  This is not like an evening reception in which you could just eat before you left home or after you got back.

Keep the food/drinks in your cabin, and at least you’ll be able to get something before and/or after the scheduled meals.

Post # 16
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Yeah, I’d agree that it’s ok to bring your own food and eat it discreetly, but I would disagree with the unsweetened tea. Could you not manage to drink sweetened tea/water for one day? Or again, subtly have some small bottles of drink for yourself in a handbag or something. 

It kind of sounds like you’re looking down on this couple’s choices quite a bit…there comes a point were you just have to accept that other people do things differently to you. When you have your own wedding, you can provide whatever food and drink you please. 

I’m having non-standard drinks at my reception (cocktail and coke, rather than champagne and orange juice), and I don’t mind if some people would prefer to go to the bar and get themselves a beer or an orange juice instead, but if someone turned up with a dozen boxes of juice I would FLIP OUT!

Similarly, we’ve catered for our vegetarian/vegan/allergy guests, but I really took exception to other guests demanding off-menu food because they didn’t fancy what we had chosen. I’d have much rathered that they’d made the best of what was on offer, and brought some emergency snacks with them in case it wasn’t enough. 

I think if you have very specific dietary requirements, you should be prepared to sometimes make your own provision (and if they ask, say you didn’t want to worry them with it – I’m sure they’ll appreciate it!). The bridal couple have lots of other things to worry about!

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