- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
Here is a compilation of my opinions as a proponent of marrying young:
There is one argument that I hear time and time again from opponents of marrying young that I truly just don’t understand…
“But, you have all your lives to spend with each other, why rush into marriage now?” Quite frankly, I don’t know how much time I have left in my life, nor does anyone else, so my philosophy is to make the most of it. My question is, “Why wait when you know it’s right?” I mean, I can understand if you are young and get engaged not long after the relationship starts. That’s a big risk, but at the same time, it’s a decision that must be respected. Naysayers should not place unnecessary judgments on those who make these decisions. I myself, am a product of this and proud to say so.
My parents met in June of 1988, and by December of that year they began talking about marriage. My Dad bought a ring, but did not propose until a couple of months later. They had been planning to get married in September of 1989, but found out they were pregnant with myself. They married in May of 1989 and had me in October. Now, twenty-one years and three children later, my parents are still happily married and have always exemplified the epitome of love. My personal story was a little different.
My fiance and I are high school sweethearts. We met in September of 2004 on the second day of our freshman year of high school and started dating that same school year in March of 2005. By our junior year of high school, we decided we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together and spoke with our parents about getting engaged. After our high school graduation in June of 2008, we moved from NJ to IN to attend college; living in a home of our own, which we pay for completely on our own. We got engaged at the age of nineteen in February of 2009 and had planned to get married this past October. Unfortunately, we couldn’t get married in October due to finances, but have now set a date. We will be getting married on December 2, 2011, on what would have been my maternal grandparents’ 50th wedding anniversary (both have passed). This only further supports my argument about life being too short to wait to get married until you are an age deemed appropriate by society.
My maternal grandparents met when they were teenagers and married at the ages of eighteen and twenty in the year 1961. By 1990, at the age of 49, my grandfather suffered a stroke, leaving him paralyzed. Five years later, in March of 1995, my grandmother passed away at the age of 52. These are things you never imagine happening when finding the love of your life, but they’re real and should be taken into account. My grandfather spent nineteen years without movement and fourteen without my grandmother until his passing in November of 2009. So, it is never certain that you have “the rest of your lives to be married.” Your life could end before you finish doing all you planned individually and as a couple.
Furthermore, everyone always talks about how much you “change” between the ages of 18-25 or so, and I just don’t understand why they don’t think these changes can happen while your married. Aren’t you supposed to be able to “grow” together? I’m glad I have spent these years of my life with the man I love. We have evolved together and I believe we are better off because of it. No one can convince me otherwise.
In addition, I must say, I always enjoyed that my parents were younger than other parents. They always had an easier time connecting to myself and my younger brothers. It may work for others, and I applaud you if it does, but personally, I don’t want to be thirty before I have my first child. I myself, would prefer to be a younger parent.
Anyway, I don’t expect to change anyone’s minds, but hopefully I have given you all a few things to think about. May each of you have wonderful marriages and experience the best of life to the greatest possible extent for as long as you possibly can!