(Closed) For All Bees Waiting Until Your Wedding Night…

posted 8 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Really very nice-  I know a “waiting” couple… and ironically, it worries me for them a bit.  Strange when a past “norm” becomes novel.  I’m lovin’ it though.  All I can think is how great these kids are.

Post # 4
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I saw this post this morning and loved it!  It seems like the vast majority of “waiting” literature is directed towards middle/high schoolers, and it was really nice to see a well articulated, thoughtful discussion of the subject.  And that’s why I love APW…

Post # 5
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

i’m not waiting but i thought this article was great. i really enjoyed hearing this from a perspective that i could “understand” better.

Post # 6
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

That was a GREAT post! I didn’t wait, but that post kind of makes me wish I would have…

(just kidding! but she does make it sound oh-so-very-romantic!) 🙂

Post # 7
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I LOVED that! 

We are “waiting” and it is based on “religious” reasons. Those religious reasons and studying however lead us to the same reasons mentioned in the post… and that’s why we are waiting. I think it is very unfortunate that so many, especially in Christian or faith communities, only say no to sex because of “going to hell” if you do. It’s so SO much more than just “salvation.” To me, “hell” is a cop out instead of focusing on the GREATNESS of sex and it’s design for us, the benefits, and disadvantages.

Her post was so well done, and it makes me happy to see it put out there so thoughtfully. There are so many mis-judgements on both sides of so many issues… it’s wonderful to see something so easily “judgmental” so incredibly clear and level and able to cross so many borders.

Post # 8
Member
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I really enjoyed the article.

Yes, we’re both waiting. Primarily for religious reasons but at the same time we fully understand the other reasons presented in the article. If I regret kissing previous boyfriends then what if it went further? (It’s not that either guy was a horrible person, but it just seems unnecessary to the relationship in hindsight.)

I took the TrueLoveWaits pledge in middle school and stuck too it, and have worn a chastity ring for the past 4 years or so. I know girls who were extremely pro-waiting until the wrong guy said the right thing and then they did a complete 180 on their view of it. But I also feel those girls were pressured into waiting by family or similar while I did so of my own volition- not to say I wasn’t taught that way, I just had strong enough independent beliefs that it was never a question in my mind.  

As she mentioned the sex-expectations talk: last summer we went through a list of ~150 questions for engaged couples to ask each other and discuss. The intimacy section was one of the hardest (I was very much known as “the” prude in high school and people from my hometown are still shocked to find out I dated in high school) but I found it really enlightening. We had different expectations. I think that because we talked through our hang-ups and expectations we will be going into our marriage far more honest.

Post # 9
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Thanks for posting this! We’re waiting, but we’ve had some issues in the past few months, and this post really reminded me why we chose to wait in the first place. 🙂

Post # 11
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Awesome article. I’m waiting, too. =)

Post # 12
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Waiting, too.  I loved this article and it goes well with a book I just read by Lauren Winner:  Real Sex. A well written book about why waiting is still important and why it is hard, especially now that people marry later and later in life.

Post # 13
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My Fiance and I didn’t wait. I was a virgin, and he wasn’t, but we both thought sex was part of a “good” relationship. But we’re both Christian and based on all those reasons in the post, we decided that we should stop having sex and wait. It’s been great. I feel a lot better and I know that we’re leaving sex for where it is supposed to be, even if we have already done it. I don’t necessarily wish we had waited, but I’m glad we stopped and I guess I’m looking forward to it even more!

Post # 14
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2011

great article……we are waiting too! Smile

Post # 15
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

How wonderfully written.

Waiting for sex was one of the areas of my life in which it was most clear how following the guidance of God through times when it’s difficult and even seems illogical can turn out to be the absolute best path to follow. Liz did a fantastic job articulating the many benefits of waiting, as well as the hazards to those who go about it the wrong way (such as, pledging to wait and then rushing into pregnancy or marriage). I wish every couple, especially the millions of men and women who are frustrated in their sex lives, would just take a break from intercourse and spend months, maybe even years, with their partner exploring the topic of sex verbally, emotionally, intellectually, and psychologically before plowing in. I’m fairly stunned by the number of women I hear about who have trouble becoming sexually satisfied with their partners, and I wonder if they and their partners were to spend some dedicated time exploring each other’s needs and desires outside of intercourse, how much difference that might make.

I just really love how Liz puts religious reasoning into its most accessible, reasonable-sounding language; e.g. “Sex links people.” It’s true, it’s important, and it’s fucking beautiful.

Post # 16
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

It is so encouraging to see all of you who have decided to wait.

After being in many failed relationships I decided to put my focus on God. Then I met my Fiance and we decided not to have sex until we married. We didn’t even kiss until we were engaged.

It was the best decision. I have never been so initmate or close to any guy and it doesn’t involve sex! I cannot tell you how wonderful it is.

It is definitely worth all the slack I get from friends and those who dont understand.

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